Tuesday, July 1, 2008

July is here, and so is the 30 days of Honoring your Husband Challenge

I did this challenge last July and loved doing it so much that I wrote it on my 101 list to do again for the next 2 July's (at least). I noticed a real change in our relationship when I intentionally honored Sean for 30 days and especially since he didn't even know I was doing it! I got the idea from Pam last year and wasn't entirely sure what honoring Sean would look like, but this year I have many more ideas.
1. I want to take the idea of showing him respect a little further this year, last year I mostly tried to keep my lips shut and avoid saying things that could seem like a lack of respect, this year I want to speak with only loving words. To me this means not just zipping the lips, not just avoiding certain conversations, but being able to still discuss things honestly and lovingly.
2. Last year I picked quality time because that's what Sean had been the most verbal about needing last year, this year I want to pay close attention to his needs, spoken and unspoken and try and meet those needs as I see them, hopefully to a point I can anticipate his needs and I can meet them before he has to ask (because it still takes a while for him to ask even after he knows he needs it).
3. Sean isn't one for letting his wants be known, or to ask for things he likes (he even refuses to give lists for ideas at birthdays and Christmas). I know he likes pie so last year I made pie. This year I hope to do a random act of 'favorite' for Sean everyday. Now this is a HUGE challenge because I hope to keep this HH month a secret again and Sean isn't very forthcoming on ideas. If anyone has any please share!
4. There has been a fair amount of stress on Sean and myself, and us as a couple, in the last year. Between beginning fertility support, home renovations, and selling/purchasing a house, we've been a little tense lately. I am going to do my best to take the stress off in July. First I'm going to take a break from baby-making, no pressure to follow fertility advice, no conversations about anything baby-making related, etc. Also, I'm going to stop inundating Sean with plans for the new house, which I'm sure all he hears is 'cha-ching, cha-ching'. I will wait until we actually have possession and the money and then we'll prioritize our plans when we know what kind of shape we're in.
5. A couple of years ago Sean and I read "The Five Love Languages" so I knew Sean's love language was touch, which is why I wanted to make an effort to do that more last year. I wanted to go a little bit farther with that this year, not only making an effort to communicate my love like he needs, but to communicate why and how much I love him, appreciate him, admire him, and believe in him. Make my love for him undeniable.
6. Last year I really struggled with the prayer part of my list, partially because Sean doesn't really share what he needs prayer for, and so it was a lot of guess work, trying to feel out what needed to be prayed for. This year I want to concentrate my prayers on being the kind of wife Sean needs. I want to seek to be God's definition of a good wife, what HIS plan for our marriage is and what my role in that is. Especially in one particular aspect.
I was obviously the spiritual leader between us for the first while but once Sean became a Christian, and was beginning to feel more comfortable in his Christianity I took a step back and waited for him to take the reins. That's about the time our Church disintegrated and even though we have found a new Church home, neither of us have stepped in to take the lead and work at a closer relationship with God as a couple. I haven't wanted to because I feel the husband is called to that role, and I don't want Sean to think I feel otherwise. I haven't wanted to step on his toes in case he at that moment decides he's going to take the lead. But recently I have felt God pushing me to take the lead in ways that will encourage Sean to then take the lead from me. I found a verse that really spoke to me, confirming that. 1 Peter 3:1-6 - "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." So this month I am really going to focus on this subject, spending a lot of time in prayer with God to receive his guidance on being Sean's perfect wife.
So, keep me in your prayers as I work at this for the next 30 days, and don't forget to send me any helpful ideas you may have!

4 comments:

tammi said...

Congratulations on selling your home and buying a new one!

I did this challenge last summer as well and while I kinda wanted to pull back from blogging a little this summer, I might do this again, too.

These are great goals and I'm sure hubby will feel incredibly honoured, respected, and loved!!

~L~ said...

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Hi! You don't know me, but I came across your blog while randomly surfing on my lunch break. I've been reading for about a half an hour now, and I just wanted to tell you that it has been a real blessing! Reading it sounds just like something I could be writing – I love crafting (though your cards are much better than mine), making lists, and Ted Dekker, I used to be an administrative assistant, I’m trying so hard to get fit and loose weight, and I’m a Christian! I also saw on your list that you would like to visit Maine, and I live in Maine. Are we long lost twins? LOL

It is so encouraging to read the things God has been doing in your life, and how you honor and bless him. I have not heard of the HH Challenge before, but what an awesome thing! I was really encouraged by #6 – your desire to seek to be a good wife to your husband by God’s standards. What better way is there to honor your husband? I think I really needed to hear that, especially 1 Peter 3:1-6. Now, my husband is a Christian, and has been his whole life, but we sure do need to be reminded that we need to be subject to him, and through that he can draw closer to God. It was once illustrated to me as a triangle. God is on the top point, and the wife and the husband are on the two bottom points. As each follows the line closer to God, it is only possible for them to be drawn closer to each other.

This was supposed to be a quick comment on your blog... :o) I just basically wanted to say thanks for just being you and being willing to share your struggles and the things God is doing. It's encouraging to know that I’m not the only one with some of the same struggles, and that we are really in His hands. Hope you have a super day!

Blessings,
Shanon

~L~ said...

I'm honored and humbled by your comments Shanon, thank you so much. You have also blessed me! From the sounds of it you and I would get along magnificently : )

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