Thursday, November 20, 2014

Life of a House Wife

10 Things this new house wife does:

1. Dyes a chunk of her hair teal
Already had plans for this, just wasn't sure how much I was going to do or when. Free time solved that :)

2. Creates personal house wife dress code 
Some options could have been the dress, apron & heels. Or sweats. Or the yoga pants, hoodie, messy bun. I went somewhere in between, with the comfy factor meshed with the 'not ashamed to be seen like this in public'. A few of my fav comfy outfits for work were long tunic sweaters and leggings/jeggings, so I got a few more of each at thrift stores and now I am set, pairing them with my many awesome boots! 

3. Keeps the T.V. off
It does not get turned on until I have returned from picking Sean up from work at the end of the day. Not that I've been home much, maybe 50% of the time. When I AM working on my computer at various endeavors, planning and preparing, I crank up the K-Love (awesome online radio station). 

4. Keeps a schedule
Having only one vehicle and not wanting to increase expenses, I am still driving Sean to and from work everyday. This also gives me a reason and a time to get out of bed every morning. And a time frame in which to accomplish my tasks for the day as well. 

5. Bakes a pie
I again already had plans for this, like a month ago, for Sean's birthday, but he chose brownies instead at the time, so I saved the ingredients for a future date. 3 days into freedom, he got his pie. I told him, happy wife, happy life is true!

6. Eats less
Seriously, this one is surprising. I thought unlimited time and access to food would make it irresistible to munch all day long. Quite the opposite, I have been so focused on my to-do list (which hasn't been all work, have been hanging out with some friends too) that I have some days forgotten to eat. Sean reminded me an eating schedule would be beneficial to keep :)

7. Exercises
I made the excuse time was pretty much the only reason I wasn't exercising more. So now I am determined to validate that excuse by scheduling in exercise time every other day. I am starting slow so I don't burn myself out too soon, but I have stuck to my schedule so far!

8. Socializes
Another area of life that I wanted more of but had not enough time for. I have a long list of people I want to hang out with, near and far :) I have already managed a few dates and many more getting booked in the calendar.

9. Volunteers
I haven't started this yet, but there are quite a few avenues and types of volunteering I intend to partake in over the next few months, some will be increasing what I already do, some will be school related, some will stop in a few months, some might keep going. I am excited for the opportunities that I will have!

10. Starts a business
I always wanted to combine a creative endeavor with stay-at-home-momming (when time allowed). Time is needed to really put a valiant effort into making a living, even a part-time living, off of being an artist. I didn't think I would have that until I had kids entering a slightly independent season, but here I am with just enough time to see what I can do. So here's what I did!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Don't Have the Time to be Sorry

It has been exactly one week.

One week since my prayers (some of them anyway) have been answered.

I've been praying them since March.

How much longer God?

How much more do I have to endure?

For those that don't know, work has been a real difficult situation the last 8+ months. New boss in January. Didn't make good first impressions. Shook things up in March.

Legally I am not allowed to disparage them in anyway or my contract for salary extension will be retracted. But suffice it to say some decisions were made that affected me very negatively. My stress was high, my anxiety was back, depression came to light, existing back pain quite aggravated.

I was constantly asking God when I could leave. Silence for the longest time. Many occasions I looked for another job but nothing ever gave me peace. I began to plan for an exit by next March. When it got bad, I moved that up to Christmas. Then feeling no peace about that, went back to asking, when can I leave?!?

Then, I thought I felt Him say stay. Luckily distraction set in full force the next month. Then I took a vacation. Then I began a plan with my doctor on reduced work hours for my back pain. But even though things settled down again, even had a slight upturn, I just was so tired of waiting for everything. Especially since I knew this job was nearing an end, I could just feel it, I just wasn't sure how much longer I could wait for God's plan to unfold. So I asked again. This time I was sure I heard stay. I could never get a why. Just stay.

That was November 7th. The next 3 days of work were some of the best I've had in months. I'd finally let go and just trusted the 'stay'.

November 12th I was laid off. With quite enough severance. I felt not only like my prayers were answered but I was super blessed. It was the best scenario that could have happened. I have so much more freedom and potential now than if I quit.

Many people keep making sure I am ok. I am :) I have learned from other lay-off what not to do, and one of them is not to get stuck in the past. There were great things about my job that I have to leave behind. Most of all friends and financial security. But life is too short to get hung up on the what ifs. There isn't time to be sorry.


God had this up His sleeve. He has something in store for me. This was perfectly planned or I would have been able to leave months ago.

For the last few weeks a song has played excessively on the radio. I am convinced no one else is hearing it as often as I have. For a reason. It's for me. The key lyrics are:
Take your shot it might be scary
There’s no one standing in your way
We don’t have to be ordinary
Make your best mistakes
‘Cause we don’t have the time to be sorry

I am waiting, heart wide open to what 'my shot' is. What my 'un-ordinary' is. What my mistakes will be. I don't intend to be sorry.
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