Tuesday, September 30, 2008

101 Things to do update

My list has been updated again, quite a few because of my new house, but unfortunately I can't strike some plans revolving around vacation off until next year now. Oh well, that leaves some days free to try and accomplish other things on my list : )

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Living Well Wednesday - whatever works, do that

This is why I joined LWW online, because I always read something that I need to hear. I love it that God uses other people to speak to me when I have trouble tuning in to what He's trying to tell me. Here's what He told me last week.
~I am not a number, a number of pounds or a number of inches, or a size. I have MANY attractive traits that make up who I am...some of them even physical
~I need to be free in Christ. If I have to obsessively be confined to a dietary plan, work out exactly a certain amount per week to achieve a certain "magical" number, then I am not free. At the same time, if I can't get through a bad time without turning to food, then I am not free either. My beat myself up over 'failure'.

Thank you to the women at LWW who continue to touch me with what they share each week.

Other reminders I need to give myself;
~ treating isn't bad once a week, just don't snow ball it
~ if I know I'm going to have a high calorie and/or low exercise week, be prepared by eating less/working out more the days leading up to (don't say, 'I'll make up for it after'...yeah right!)
~ a snack doesn't have to be a whole bowl of ice cream or pretzels, a small amount will satisfy my desire for food because it's not hunger I'm fillin
~ try to remember to ask why do I snack? and how can I let God 'drive' my health?

Had a pretty ok week, and I lost the 3 lbs again, yay!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Living Well Wednesday - I need a break, not a break from my health

So, overall, this week was good again, drank a little less water but also a lot less pop, 75 more minutes of exercise, but also a few more calories on average, read almost all of Daniel, but I didn't turn to God when it counted the most, last night. Grrr.

Last night I got some sucky news from Sean's work that our vacation will most likely be postponed. This year we've had no real vacation, all of it has been tied up in appointments for the house, moving, unpacking, etc. so we've been a little stressed, not to mention sick lately, and in dire need of some relaxing time off (haven't had r&r days off since Christmas), and finally both our schedules opened up around Thanksgiving and so we booked vacation.

Now Sean's boss has decided she instead wants him to do training, that before they were going to get other people to do, and he's not allowed to go on vacation until the training is done. He thinks if he pushed himself harder, burning himself out in the process, we MIGHT still be able to go as planned (which meant the weather might be ok enough to go to Banff like we planned) but I don't want him to get even more stressed, so the earliest we can probably go now is November, which also gives us less time off because we can't combine it with a holiday. And it's going to be too friggin cold so we might as well skip Alberta because I want to go when we can also spend time at Banff. We tried going in September but couldn't do that either because a consultant was coming to check out this new product on which Sean is training people, and the consultant needed Sean to give feedback about the program.

So instead of a much needed vacation in just 4 weeks time, going away to beautiful Banff and West Edmonton Mall, seeing cousins I never get to see, I get to have vacation in November at home, 45 days away! And that is provided nothing comes up with my job in November and it works for me to take time off then. *deep breath*

There has been so much Sean has been helping this boss with, taking things off her plate, on top of his normal busy day, and he's already very stressed, then she adds this unncessary thing to his plate, that she had already told him was going to be done a different way. Not to mention, taking away his vacation for it. Not only am I dissapointed about our plans but I am royally pissed off she is treating him this way. Oh, and guess who DOES get to go on vacation in October....she does! I just feel so bad for him I can't complain about my spoiled plans, he already feels extremely crappy about that (this has been a vacation I've tried to plan for 3 years already, going to Alberta). so not only does he feel crappy about work, he feels crappy about upsetting me.

So, anyway, last night, before I found this out, I had bought fried chicken and fries from our favorite place Candy's, to celebrate that we finally got the cheque from the proceeds of our house. Then I found out the bad news and decided I wanted to make myself feel better with fried chicken. I KNOW I should have instead prayed about it, and KNOWN emotional eating would have it's revenge, but last night that didn't matter. Today I'm 3 lbs heavier. Talk about eater's remorse. Lesson learned...I hope.

Anyway, one other thing I thought of this week I wanted to mention, I do have an idea of making the checklist from my last LWW post into a daily checklist on my fridge, and getting a 'gold star' for each goal I meet on a daily basis. This will hopefully remind me of each goal at the beginning of the day, and hopefully I'll be focusing on a lot of gold rather than the empty spots.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

Well, I can't remember the last Monday I was in THIS good of a mood! Why, you ask, would I be happy to be back in a work week, having to wake up early, and be at work instead of home? Because I got to wear one of my pretty, semi-new outfits! The song, "I feel pretty" keeps playing in my head and I feel like I'm a brand new person!
I've been going through my closet lately, packing away clothes that are hanging off me, and pulling out old favorite clothes I couldn't bear to give away even though I feared I may never fit in them again. I found that I now fit into a few treasures again, like my favorite pink, velvet jeans : ) The red dress I wore to the Christmas party Sean and I first danced at (boy he liked seeing me in that ; ), some cute pjs, a tankini, some skirts, etc. My wedding dress is actually TOO BIG ON ME! How many women can say that!?!
With a Winnipeg winter coming though, I was caught severely short on pants and sweaters, and Sean and I had agreed for birthdays we'd go clothing shopping, so this weekend we hit the mall and I was loving it! I went down two sizes, I am now a 12 on top and between a 12 and 14 on the bottom! I can now shop at 'normal' stores and avoid 'plus' sections : ) I was SOOOOO giddy! I actually decided not to buy too many pants because about 10 more pounds lost and a 14 will be too big, and I have a few 14 left in my closet, so I only bought one nice pair of brown dress pants (my 3 pairs of brown pants were packed in the 'too big box'). Then I bought 4 sweaters, a cute dress shirt, and because there was such a good sale, I bought a t-shirt and sleeveless dress shirt. Not to mention all the new underwear I needed, yikes! But what a difference it makes with everything sitting on my body properly, and all my body parts being supported properly.
So, today, I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I just want to put on a little fashion show!!! Maybe if I can get hubby to agree, I'll get him to take photos of me in my new outfits so I can.

"I feel pretty, oh so prettyI feel pretty,
and witty and bright
And I pity any girl
who isn't me tonight

I feel charming, oh so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty that I
hardly can believe I'm real"

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Living Well Wednesday - Successes

While evaluating recent set backs (I won't call them failures, especially since I didn't gain weight ; ) I have been going back to my initial thoughts when first starting this, that it has to be about balance. I have to make this work for the long run because I will not be able to 'diet' and workout like crazy forever. There will be weeks when I have a food related gatherings almost every day. There will be weeks when I'm sick and can't exert myself as much exercising. There will always be something I can let trip me up. So it's about giving myself healthy options, making better choices, and creating healthy habits. Then take it one day at a time, do the best I can while still enjoying life. Which means, I may not hit 100% of my goals every day, every week, which is a little hard for a perfectionist to handle, but this isn't about getting the grade, it's about life, a balanced, healthy and enjoyable life.
So, with that being said, I feel like this was a really successful week!
1. 115 minutes of exercise/activity - about 75% of goal
2. Stayed in daily range of 1200-1400 calories (thanks to discovering 'skinny' latte's at Starbucks)
3. Increase fruit and veggies - about 75% of goal, 3 out of 4 snacks were or included veggies and fruit. Prepared some easy to add veggies for supper options. Still need to find a good banana smoothie recipe for breakfast, but practice will make perfect...yummy practice.
4. Drink 2-3 litres daily - around the 2 litre mark lately
5. Start reading the Bible again and praying more about struggles - I read Philippians during the week, and now I'm working on Ezekiel. Been much better at praying as the thought pops in my head, rather than say 'I'll pray about that tonight during my prayer time', which usually doesn't happen.
6. And all that resulted in 3 lbs lost!!! Whoooohooo! I'm a very happy girl this week : ) That brings me to 25 lbs lost in total. And boy do I see a difference lately. I am in need of buying new clothes pronto!
Thanks to everyone who cheers me on, and most of all, praise God, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength".

Sunday, September 7, 2008

two become one

"Two become one" is pronounced at weddings, and many people act as if that's all it takes to unite two individual lives. Sure, it does immediately unite them under one roof, with united finances, united expenses, united possessions, united families, united bodies. But does it immediately unite our minds and hearts? Do we automatically always think and feel and act in the best interests of both equally? I think the answer of course would be no.

At the beginning we may, but as time goes on we don't want to continue to compromise on every issue we don't see eye to eye on, we each want to be free to be ourselves with our loved one, because after all we committed to them because they love us for who we really are. There will be times when the homebody is tired of socializing, even at a compromised level, or the social butterfly is tired of being cooped up at home, even at a compromised level. And that is just one of probably hundreds of personality quirks people have, a couple will never be 100% in sync with all of them.

And so when our individual needs are not gettting met we get frustrated, and we think, 'if they love me why don't they _________(fill in the blank)?' We think, 'if we are one, why does my spouse still think in a way that doesn't always consider us/me?' We begin thinking in terms of 'one' but usually we are that 'one'. Where does this delusion come from that love means the other person will always want to meet you half way, or more? I think part of it is how we view our 'oneness'.

The pronouncement 'two become one' isn't a magic spell the minister casts on us, eliminating us as individuals and creating a new being. We aren't just blended into one compromised, murky being. The phrase is meant to explain that we are no longer two individuals trying to make it in this world alone, this oneness explains we are two individuals who have joined as a team that will face life together. We are still individuals, we were created as individuals, we fell in love with each other as individuals, and it's our individuality that makes a team succeed, because we each bring different strengths to the marriage. We are individuals that have joined with someone who has agreed to share in the burdens and joy that life will bring. Becoming a team, building a life together as a team, trying to do what's best for the team, requires teamwork.

We have to work at understanding each other as individuals, we have to work at a life that makes us both happy, we have to work at making sure each has a turn at give and take, we have to work at choosing to love each other despite disagreements and pain, we have to work at growing as individuals and as a couple, we have to work at keeping our vows of commitment, we have to work at creating an environment in which our love will grow stronger.

Before I was married I would probably have agreed with marriage being a team effort, rather than an amalgamation, yet I still found myself wondering why I couldn't get more compromise, why I couldn't make Sean see my way was better for us. Somewhere along the way I forgot he is still his own person, has his own needs seperate from mine, has a different perception from mine. And that is dangerous ground, because then it's not a far leap to make assumptions that he doesn't love me as much or doesn't want what's best for our marriage. This is something I've recently begun to realize, the power of my thoughts, that they can become real feelings, and soon feelings become actions. And so with this realization, I see that path becomes much too easy to follow if we don't understand the real meaning of 'two become one'.

I know marriage isn't easy, we have had our days when we've looked at each other and wondered, 'do you even love me?' But there is a choice in every hurt, to work at it and forgive for the sake of our marriage, or to begrudge for the sake of ourselves. I received a piece of advice shortly into our marriage that I have kept with me. Think of your marriage as a scale, one side is a pile of the good things that happen and the other is the bad. Of course, you are married for a reason, so you start of with a heavy good side, and so when one bad thing happens it doesn't tip the scale. If you deal with that one bad thing when it happens, weighing it against all the good, it is easy to forgive and heal, but if you let bad things pile up and don't deal with them, eventually they may outweigh the good by the time you finally want/need to deal with it. It will be much harder to choose to stay in a marriage where the bad outweighs the good, but if you choose your marriage during each bad situation, there will still be work involved but it will always be easier.

And don't just wait until work needs to be done in your marriage, do some preventitive work. Your spouse will never be perfect, so don't wait until they are to show them how much you love and appreciate them. I found this cool site through Pam, which is about putting your love on display, literally. And I have, I am letting my hubby, and the whole world, know how much I love him.....via this t-shirt. The makers of this t-shirt have an awesome message, I encourage you to read about it.

Self Portrait Saturday

Yes, I realize this post is actually on Sunday but it wouldn't let me select 'New Post' yesterday. Just wanted to share some of my interesting creations with hairmixer.com, stick your face on a celebrity fun. Interesting results.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Living Well Wednesdays - Nothing Lost, Nothing Gained

Nothing lost, nothing gained this week. Exercised more, ate more this week. I’m tired of my own excuses. I think I need to put of all the realizations I’ve made in writing, on a huge poster, and put it in my kitchen. I’ve had some really good insights while blogging but for some reason it’s hard to put them into practice. Like ‘rely on God, not food’, or ‘don’t undermine my determination’. I thought I’d awakened myself to the pitfalls of my negotiating and doing this on my own steam, yet I’m still doing it.
Just something as simple as soda pop, I know that it’s a waste of calories, I would satisfy my thirst much better with water, water does a body good, soda does not, yet I’ve been craving it so I fit it into my allotted calories. And I’ve been slacking on veggies way too much. Fruit I’m much better with, I always have fruit for lunch, I intend to add some to breakfast everyday, and they are a great snack, but veggies, well, I have soy beans at lunch and maybe a few times a week I'll toss mushrooms into whatever I'm already making, or open a can of baby corn. I’m just so not interested in cooking after I come home from work, even with making it easier with the OAMC cooking I’ve picked up from Pam, it’s still takes to much energy to do a meat and pasta/rice/potato, never mind cook a vegetable yet. But I have a feeling if I added a veggie I wouldn’t be prone to snacking later in the evening. Anyone got any ideas of an easy way to add them?
And I really need to stop procrastinating on getting back to reading my Bible, I know drawing closer to God will make it easier to draw on his strength when I am weak. And lately at Church I have had heard passages read that I see in a new light and it makes me want to read, but when I'm at home I'm oblivious to those desires. First thing would be to unpack my Bible, plunk it down right where I spend most of my time and then it will be easier to be intentional about it.
So maybe I have gained something, the more I revisit these lessons the better I should get at it, right? Sometimes it's really hard being an imperfect perfectionist.
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