Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Out with the Old

1 new Bestie
2 miscarriages
20 lbs of bacon
1 vehicle paid-off
1 month in 1 dress
5 years in our house
4 Counselling courses
6 weeks with pink hair
14 lbs gained in 4 months
5 leader/mentors departed
3 bachelor vacations for Sean
4 months of fertility treatment
3rd year at Celebrate Recovery
10 year anniversary vow renewal
3 out of province vacations for me
17 years combined tenure at our jobs


Thursday, December 19, 2013

No Sweat

So, my one goal list this year was about aspiration, and inspiration, rather than perspiration, and I think I achieved that!.....by not completing my list! :)

I have learned to give myself permission to not have to cross everything off my 'to-do' list and that is what I did.

As I wrote here a few months ago, I had so far accomplished 3 out of 5 goals, and I've progressed on my blog posts....just slightly :/ In all I'm only at 79 posts here but 122 on my photo blog, so I have far surpassed the 140 total last year, but it was 140 mostly non-picture posts last year.
What can I say though, it's been one of those years....where I don't have a lot to say. A lot of groaning or silent waiting and hoping.

I also had the goal of giving Sean a blessing a day for his Birthday week, which I did. But it was also an otherwise tumultous week so I did not take any pictures nor do I barely remember what I got him. I remember I got him Marley & Me, and Reese cups, and bacon.....and that's all I can remember :) lol! But I swear there were 7 days of gifts!

But as for the minimalization, the motivation stayed at zil to clean out the basement/craft room. Good news though is in the spirit of minimalization I have done my best to repurpose or recycle first when we had needs for the house, and I was able to do a lot of re-organizing with pieces from my craft room, so I've spent hardly any money on new junk/clutter/stuff! Yay! :)

So ya, no sweat.

I think I'm going to have the same goal next year ;)

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Just What I Needed

As you can tell....

(by my last posts)

(by my lack of posts)

life has been keeping me on my toes.

Even with Sean out of school now, and a slower than typical December, we've both needed our own idea of self-care, and that hasn't meshed a lot lately.

There are a number of reasons I've felt distant from Sean lately, which I won't go into, but some cumulative effect was happening and I was getting unhappy.

Note: I was already taking into account that my hormones are to be considered when evaluating these emotions.

I picked up His Needs, Her Needs again. Hoping it would help me gain perspective, like it did last time.

At first, not so much.

I focused on MY needs, and what was definitely lacking. When I took the survey again I realized out of my greatest needs (ones I would find the hardest to live without), Sean passes with flying colours.

Yet. It wasn't appeasing that 3rd neediest need. 

I was able to suck it up, knowing it was a few days of stress/busyness coming, on top of emotions from not being pregnant again, and of course, accentuated PMS. I knew by Saturday I would be feeling slightly better on at least 2 of those 3 areas, so I was going to wait until then to broach the subject with him.


On Friday, after our recovery Blue Christmas service (the first large event we've had to plan without our former director), we did our usual Friday night routine, drive to debrief, settle on the couch for Sean to watch Wrestling and me to surf the web.

After Wrestling Sean surprised me offering to make me some hot chocolate, snuggle, and watch the Little Mermaid with me, which I had recently pvr'd. Not that Sean isn't considerate and selfless, but not usually with some of my more musical taste in movies, especially the really girly ones. I thoroughly enjoyed the next 90 minutes, and it filled up my love bank immensely!

Just what I needed.

Just when I needed it.

And with that, an idea was conceived and the UN-date was birthed. 

Background Information. We have a date night monthly, alternating who's turn it is to choose the details of the date, usually selecting our own personal preferences. Typically they are out of the house (as I like!), but often don't have much chance for the intimacy of physical closeness, unless we border on PDA that we're just not that comfortable with!

So. The UN-date!

The UN-date will also be monthly, the person who gets to plan it is the person who is not already getting to plan the regular date. The UN-date must be in our home, requires us to be side by side (within reaching distance), and it should be planned with the preferences of the other person in mind. It should take the majority of an evening and the only screens allowed are to play a movie or 2-player video game. And the planner of the UN-date will also provide dinner, with a budget of $15, which also must be eaten together.

I wanted to fill some needs that don't get met by our typical dates, or our day to day lives. It's amazing how just cuddling on the couch filled both of our physical touch needs, so being in close proximity where we can just hold or caress each other was a must. I also wanted to orchestrate the opportunity to think of the other first, make their needs and wants a priority, because it isn't always a default :) I also wanted to eat in this setting because we almost never eat next to each other without t.v. on (unless at a restaurant), and I'm curious as to what this will produce, having never done it before. 

I'm super excited, and Sean really liked my proposal as well. Am looking forward to plan my first UN-date for Sean in January.....hope I'll remember to share it :)
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