Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Just What I Needed

As you can tell....

(by my last posts)

(by my lack of posts)

life has been keeping me on my toes.

Even with Sean out of school now, and a slower than typical December, we've both needed our own idea of self-care, and that hasn't meshed a lot lately.

There are a number of reasons I've felt distant from Sean lately, which I won't go into, but some cumulative effect was happening and I was getting unhappy.

Note: I was already taking into account that my hormones are to be considered when evaluating these emotions.

I picked up His Needs, Her Needs again. Hoping it would help me gain perspective, like it did last time.

At first, not so much.

I focused on MY needs, and what was definitely lacking. When I took the survey again I realized out of my greatest needs (ones I would find the hardest to live without), Sean passes with flying colours.

Yet. It wasn't appeasing that 3rd neediest need. 

I was able to suck it up, knowing it was a few days of stress/busyness coming, on top of emotions from not being pregnant again, and of course, accentuated PMS. I knew by Saturday I would be feeling slightly better on at least 2 of those 3 areas, so I was going to wait until then to broach the subject with him.


On Friday, after our recovery Blue Christmas service (the first large event we've had to plan without our former director), we did our usual Friday night routine, drive to debrief, settle on the couch for Sean to watch Wrestling and me to surf the web.

After Wrestling Sean surprised me offering to make me some hot chocolate, snuggle, and watch the Little Mermaid with me, which I had recently pvr'd. Not that Sean isn't considerate and selfless, but not usually with some of my more musical taste in movies, especially the really girly ones. I thoroughly enjoyed the next 90 minutes, and it filled up my love bank immensely!

Just what I needed.

Just when I needed it.

And with that, an idea was conceived and the UN-date was birthed. 

Background Information. We have a date night monthly, alternating who's turn it is to choose the details of the date, usually selecting our own personal preferences. Typically they are out of the house (as I like!), but often don't have much chance for the intimacy of physical closeness, unless we border on PDA that we're just not that comfortable with!

So. The UN-date!

The UN-date will also be monthly, the person who gets to plan it is the person who is not already getting to plan the regular date. The UN-date must be in our home, requires us to be side by side (within reaching distance), and it should be planned with the preferences of the other person in mind. It should take the majority of an evening and the only screens allowed are to play a movie or 2-player video game. And the planner of the UN-date will also provide dinner, with a budget of $15, which also must be eaten together.

I wanted to fill some needs that don't get met by our typical dates, or our day to day lives. It's amazing how just cuddling on the couch filled both of our physical touch needs, so being in close proximity where we can just hold or caress each other was a must. I also wanted to orchestrate the opportunity to think of the other first, make their needs and wants a priority, because it isn't always a default :) I also wanted to eat in this setting because we almost never eat next to each other without t.v. on (unless at a restaurant), and I'm curious as to what this will produce, having never done it before. 

I'm super excited, and Sean really liked my proposal as well. Am looking forward to plan my first UN-date for Sean in January.....hope I'll remember to share it :)

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