I am long past the count of three.
Maybe they are coming in themes of three.
Like....Medical - miscarriage, Sean's really bad cold, my med side effects.
3 weeks ago my boss, our office manager, announced he's stepping down from that role and we're hiring someone new. I am the only office administrator so my primary direction and responsibilities hinge on the person who is my boss, how they see my role...because it's already pretty vague and directionless. Already been a little dissatisfied since my job shifted priorities last April. Not going to lie. I'm nervous. Not for job security, but job satisfaction.
Then, almost a week ago, the leader of our Celebrate Recovery ministry resigned. It has been a conclusion we have been aware of the potential of for three months. Doesn't make it any easier or less stressful or less uncertain for the future of CR and my own personal growth. We're even more passionate about making this ministry grow now but we've lost a very significant resource.
And then today. Another unsurprise when our small group leaders decided they could no longer meet the needs of our small group. With a new born, a fireman's schedule, 3 other kids in the house adjusting to new family dynamics, it just wasn't doable. Understandably.
The dynamics of our group leave almost no options, none that we've come up with yet, except for it to be at our house with us leading. Neither Sean nor I have that in us right now. We've barely had it in us to attend lately, never mind lead. One more thing costing us effort & energy is one too many. We have so many drains in our life and so few fountains in this season.
I just can't see how it will work.
Yet I can't imagine losing my small group.
They are a fountain.
I just want to cry. And that's not the Estrogen talking.