Harmony

In my devotional I was readying in Colossians 1 about Jesus' role of bringing harmony to the universe, it's been His job from Genesis, through His time on earth, and through His second coming, perfect harmony being achieved with Him in eternity someday. That brought to mind something a friend once said, that God showed her all existence is like a song (she's a musician), and we talked about how even stars have been recorded as making a humming noise. So when I read that God showed me that all of creation is like one long song, every part of creation is a part of that song (or maybe even symphony!) a bar, a note, pitch, an instrument, every thing that it takes to play that song is a piece of creation. Even in nature, our instruments are created from inspiration of winds, reeds, beating rhythms, etc. And it's one language you will find in every culture, that has this inexplicable ability to move people more than just words alone, lyrics set to music have what my musician friend deems 'magic.' And so, when it comes to harmony in this world, my purpose, your purpose, everyone's purpose plays a part in bringing about that harmony, and so Jesus is even more intent on using His every resource to bring about His purpose for us, more intent than we are, because without our purpose being fulfilled ('our' being His children) then there isn't harmony with the purpose of all creation. I've discovered a new appreciation for His timing, because think of how important timing is to make music sound good, to sound in harmony, it takes each piece fulfilling it's purpose in PERFECT timing. But also each piece must be cooperative, must accept alignment, must choose unity. And when we achieve harmony in music, think of how beautiful it sounds.

God gave me a picture during our Friday morning prayer group a couple of weeks ago of a tuning fork, that the Holy Spirit works in us like a tuning fork, He reverberates within us and the closer we pay attention to His tune, the more we can feel when we are in alignment, in or out of tune. When we are out of tune it's like clashing off-key notes, it makes you cringe and recoil, you just know it's not right but even more than that it's painful to listen to. When we are in tune it's not only harmonious, it's peaceful, it's sweet-sounding, like a beautiful song you don't ever want to end. I've been trying to remember that when seeking God, when I need answers, I strike the tuning fork and wait for the vibrations to show me pain or peace. So when I read in my devotional last Thursday about Jesus' purpose as a harmony maker, it made SO MUCH SENSE!


So then, I think, eternal life, that must be what perfect harmony is, because that is Jesus' end game, life with all of creation made new in His kingdom. So, why does it seem there is less and less harmony in the world, and not just in the world, in Churches even. Isn't that how music works, the more you work at it the closer you get to it sounding perfect? But God showed me through the tuning fork analogy, God is also the tuning fork, not just as the Holy Spirit inside each believer, but a cosmic tuning fork, and He has been slowly increasing how strong the tuning vibrations are, the stronger the vibrations the clearer it is who is in tune/alignment and who is out of tune/alignment. The vibrations are increasing in strength the closer to the end times, because before, and even now, it is easy for people to hide their misalignment with God, there are so many Christians who think they are following God, but are not, and a lot of us can't see the difference. So as the season draws nearer, there is actually less harmony as those who are out of tune are exposed, and they have a choice to make. We live in a world where there is the appearance of grey, but really all there is, is black and white. It is like salt and pepper thoroughly mixed together would appear grey, with maybe some spots more white or more black, but if you sifted them properly they would separate and there would only be white and black. God's tuning fork vibrations are sifting us to make it clear there is no grey. Those who are out of tune and want alignment with God will have choose to get into harmony. Some won't feel in tune with Him and in fact the true God's tune can sound harsh and sour, a sound that's painful for them to listen to, so they cringe and recoil. So they will choose discord. The vibrations are driving every human to either choose white or black, they shake the grey choices out of existence, and so we'll in fact see less and less harmony/peace/unity in the world as the grey becomes black, and the black becomes blacker. But we should also see some grey becoming white, and the white becoming whiter. The white WILL be more harmonious, there will be more unity and peace in the Churches that are in alignment with God.

I am so blessed that God keeps bringing these revelations to me when I'm intentional about spending time with Him, and confirms them through other things He's been showing me. Well this one keeps getting more and more confirmation. I went to a garage sale on Saturday, held by the woman who leads my Friday morning prayer group, she was selling books so I knew I had to get in on a deal on books she has previously read! One of those books I actually picked up for a friend, a take on postmodern evangelism for a friend struggling with being taught 'street-corner' evangelism, and it was equated to a dance, which she is a dancer! But I decided to flip through it first and in the introduction he wrote this: "The Gospel comes to you, not like a commercial, but like a song. It sneaks up on you and then sneaks inside of you. Somewhere in your journey through life, you begin to hear this song whose music captures your heart with its rhythm, melody, ambiance and glory, and you begin to move to its rhythm. Overtime your whole life begins to harmonize to the song...so you resonate with its tone and flow with its melody. The lyrics gradually convince you that the entire world was meant to share this song with its message, its joy and its dance. This is why you begin to feel the song and live by it." More Ready Than You Realize - Brian McLaren. Wow! And he wrote that in 2002! And God wasn't done yet! A song came on the radio yesterday that He touched me with a few weeks ago, I had heard it for the first time right after prayer group, a particularily touching time that spurred me on to seek more of God in a new way. Yesterday the words hit me in a new way...

Amen, Amen
I'm alive, I'm alive
Because He lives
Amen, Amen
Let my song join the one that never ends
Because He lives

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds my life my future in His hands
Matt Maher - Because He Lives (Amen) Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Harmony. As I learn so much about His idea of harmony, I receive more and more of it flooding my life in beautiful, sweet-sounding ways. And I want to feel the song more and more, live by it, and dance in its joy!

My Two Dads

Well, I stole the title from an old 80's sitcom, but the concept of multiple parents is far more common these days, and children in shared custody bear a striking resemblance to anyone who has struggled in spiritual teenage-hood.

So, we have the step-father, the father of lies, the one who lets you have fun, lets you do anything you want, no consequences, no limits, no discipline, no learning or earning maturity. As the spiritual teenager, rebellious, and not equipped yet to make the right choices, we want to refuse to give up all the 'fun' stuff. We can't see the long term benefits over the short term gains, we want what we want and we want it now.

Then there is the Father who conceived us, longed for the day we were born, and birthed us in His Heart. The one who loves us enough to die for us. The one who loves us too much to let us destroy ourselves with indulgence and entitlement.  Our Father who created us to be wholly perfect in His love, in His family, where we share ourselves in order to better love one another.

It pains our Father to see us not with Him at all times, He mourns the disconnection, but also the toll it takes on our lives to live with the step-father. But. He also knows that it is in our nature to want the best of both worlds, and so He allows this joint custody of us here on earth. He knows we need to discover what it's like to continue living under the step-father's roof, without the severe consequences of actually having to live with him full time yet. And He always offers the safety and stability for our reprieve when the chaos of that freedom gets too much.

It doesn't matter what age we are at, we can stay stuck in spiritual teenage-hood well into our adult years. What we may have learned maturing into adulthood hasn't yet translated to spiritually growing up. In fact, some of the ways we learned to cope with growing up, we now think we need them in order to be self-sustaining adults. But the point is that we'll never be successful at self-sustaining long term, we were created to be sustained by our Father. Yet, if we don't learn this, our coping with self-sustaining often turns from mere coping into an addiction to self.

And He understands, He knows how hard cold turkey is. In a way, earth has also become our rehabilitation home, an opportunity to restore us to the healthy, wholly perfect beings our Father created us to be. He would love to just rescue us, and take us into His eternal home instead, but it is a home that can only admit perfection, and He knows we can't go from where we are at to maintaining an expectation of perfection. Not without His help. So He compromised, He gave us another home, His Temple, where we can fully access Him, without the expectation of perfection.

As we learn what grace looks like here with Him, the desire to run away to gain freedom will lessen, and the desire to dwell here permanently, in true freedom, will grow. Once we understand our double-mindedness and make the choice to abide with our Father, we don't earn perfection, but we accept and receive the gift our Father has had for us all along, His covering of perfection. When we finally make that choice, we want to live with our Father forever, our earthly health may not yet be fully and wholly restored, but our inheritance is! In that moment we are welcomed into His eternal home, His children once and for all.

The Secret Spirit Language

Have you ever wondered why it is you can have conversations with other Christians that really deepen your hunger for truth, they give you revelations and insights seemingly straight from God? You get filled up just talking to them and you leave them feeling like you've encountered God?

Have you wondered why it is you can have conversations with other Christians and it leaves you wondering if you are speaking the same language? Wondering if you even know the same God?

I have noticed this a lot lately in the last 30 months, more so especially in the last year, and the former I just started to call them Holy Spirit moments.  After all, "For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."  I love those moments.

Last week in my devotional time God revealed to me more about this amazing concept. He showed me it is like the Trinity speak their own secret language, that language is the language of truth, ultimate truth, all-knowingness.  And we, like anyone learning a new language, are able to recognize it and understand it the more we are exposed to it.

The first step to learning a language is to spend time in a community where we are exposed to people speaking the language. In this case, spending time with Godly people in tuned with the Holy Spirit.

The next step is to practice speaking in, and listening to, the language. To be able to learn the Secret Spirit Language we need to practice speaking to God, developing our prayer life, but not just talking to God, talking with God, taking the time to learn to listen and recognize what He's saying.

And another way to help learn language is through comprehension; reading, writing, and having dialogue. This is more than just reading the Scriptures for knowledge sake, it is reading communication directly from the creator of the Spirit Secret Language Himself, and we read it to gain familiarity with the language of truth. Truth is a difficult language so it helps our development to journal or discuss our understanding of what we have learned.

So, as I have grown in my understanding of the Spirit Secret Language, I have found others who are also proficient in this amazing language! We find ourselves slipping into this deeper dialect naturally, realizing as we talk that there is a connection beyond ourselves happening, and the amazing thing about the language of truth is that our awareness of truth expands the more we are immersed in it. And then there are other people, and they can't seem to understand what we're talking about, it's like they are hearing gibberish. Or maybe more like seeing sign language, it is in English, which they should be able to understand, but the way the language is being communicated they just can't understand.

I am so in awe of this and it has made me so eager to delve into learning more, in every way I can.  I seek out more opportunities to be in the company of other SSL enthusiasts, and reading Scripture and praying are a whole new experience. I have always been a big fan of secret codes and the idea of being multilingual, I am so excited to take my language skills to another level!

After this revelation, God then hammered the point home with having me come across several Scriptures the last few days, but this one captures it perfectly so I will share it in it's entirety.

1 Corinthians 2:1-16

When I first came to you, dear brothers and sisters, I didn’t use lofty words and impressive wisdom to tell you God’s secret plan. 2 For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified. 3 I came to you in weakness—timid and trembling. 4 And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. 5 I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God. 6 Yet when I am among mature believers, I do speak with words of wisdom, but not the kind of wisdom that belongs to this world or to the rulers of this world, who are soon forgotten. 7 No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God—his plan that was previously hidden, even though he made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. 8 But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. 9 That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 

10 But it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. 11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. 13 When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. 14 But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. 15 Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. 16 For, “Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?”
But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.

Enjoy The Ride

There is nothing new under the sun, and analogies about our endless struggle on the journey of life have been plenty. But you know, when you hear the right one, and it all finally seems to make sense. Well, for a time anyway :) So, on the chance that this speaks to anyone else but me, I would like to share my newest metaphor for life.


It came about as I was praying over a scripture study I was doing. Now, before I move on, I need to be completely honest, I have not daily read my Bible since spring, and I have likely not even read it once a week since July. But I was determined this fall to get back into a routine of scripture study, not just reading, but studying. Yesterday was my second day back into it.  I decided to do a topic study on trusting God. I've had a hard time of that lately. I've been very tired of waiting.  So, back to my story.


God, I called out, I am so tired of wandering blind. I feel like I have been wandering in this thick fog for 9 years, floundering around, not sure if I'm going in the right direction, and every time I find something meaningful it's because I stumbled upon it. When I have asked, You have shown me I am on the right path, you shine just enough light for me to look down and know I'm still on it. You assure me it is your path, not some other path, and then I go on my merry way. But I'm so tired of not knowing. Why can't the light shining on my feet show me arrows or a map, so I at least know I am taking the straightest route to my destination.

And then He showed me. Even if I got from point A to point B immediately, the fog would not have lifted, I still wouldn't know what to do when I reached point B. I would have just stayed, standing in that spot, until the appointed time arrived. In my mind the fog began to lift to reveal I am on a large ferry, floating along on it's own course, guided by the hand of God. My destination isn't point B. My destination cannot be found no matter where I wander, blind or with a map, because point B is just the docking station for when the ferry has reached the shore. I cannot go anywhere but where the ferry is taking me. And so no matter what I do I cannot get to my destination any sooner or any later than I am supposed to.

Life is a series of ferries. On each one we have freedom to do and go as we please, it doesn't affect reaching our appointed docking station. When the ferry arrives it arrives on it's own schedule. If we aren't at the docking station when it reaches shore, that's ok, it won't go anywhere, we won't miss our next ferry connection.  What we can miss is all the opportunities to grow closer to God along the journey. We can miss the opportunity God has given us to shine His light to someone else on the journey. But we won't miss the boat, so to speak.

For example, I believe at one such docking station, as I got on to a new ferry, Sean was also getting on that same ferry. There were a few times we almost connected but didn't. Once we finally did there were a lot of interruptions to the deeper connection. The marriage docking station was ahead of us, no matter what happened, but because of some of the choices we made in our freedom to do and go as we pleased we ended up taking baggage on to the marriage ferry unnecessarily. We arrived right where we were supposed to, but our experience on the next ferry would be shaped by how we had spent the last ride.

And, now I'm certain we're heading to the parenthood docking station. This has been the longest ferry ride yet. With all the time we've had we've certainly learned to get rid of some of that baggage, we've learned to avoid creating new baggage for the next journey. I know we've learned to make much better choices on this ride. But I realize now learning wasn't earning a faster ride. The length of each ride has always been predetermined.  It's the same with our desire to be counselors, we're on the school ferry now, and at least getting on this ferry we knew it is a long distance haul, but we're so eager for the dock where we finally get to make a life around helping people. My dear friend pointed out to me, just because that dock of being counselors is far away doesn't mean we aren't helping people on the ferry we're on now.  God still has purpose for us in the journey, the purpose isn't only at the destination.

And so, here we are on this ferry, and yes, still in the fog, with no ferry schedule to clue us in to arrival time. We're left with two choices; one, continue futile efforts to do things here that feel like they are controlling the ferry, or two, enjoy the ride. Not that we just sit idly by, but we learn to listen to God so we know when it IS time to just be still and wait and enjoy the scenery. Or so we know we should talk to that person sitting next to us.  Or so we know how to let go of things that don't belong on the next ferry. Or so we know how to prepare for the next journey.

Jesus, I really, really want to enjoy the ride, please help me enjoy the ride.

Why Me?

This is not a question I ask often, or ask in my depression. No this is a question I typically spout when I am perplexed by my abundant blessings. A few years ago we did a series at Church on what justice really is and I wondered why was I born in Canada, into privilege, into a home with Christian parents?  Something triggered this question in me again just the other day.

It was the movie Saving Private Ryan. It was the part when they finally find him and tell him they are there to bring him home.

Private Ryan: [after being told he can go home] "It doesn't make any sense, sir. Why? Why do I deserve to go? Why not any of these guys? They all fought just as hard as me. "

The reason this resonated with me was because of a truth that has been coming back to me in many different ways over the last month.

God chose me. 

Now His Sovereignty is something I don't claim to fully understand. I find the more I know God the less I understand, but the closer I get to God the less I need to understand. But I do understand God chose me. Chose me before I was born, before I was conceived, before my parents were married, before my parents were born, before the beginning of the world was formed. God dreamt me up and planned for me to belong to Him again one day.

I also understand He has hardened the hearts of people. This is where I understand less and less how Sovereignty works, but I do understand that there have been times He has hardened hearts for the good results it will eventually produce.

So why was I born soft-hearted?

I'm not sure. I have no answer to Why Me?

All I know is God sent Jesus into this war here on earth, on a mission to find me, Private Lori Michelle Alcorn. To find me, to save me, tell me I get to go home with Him.

And He did it at great cost. He lost His life in this war here on earth. (*spoiler alert*) Just like Captain Miller, the soldier leading the search for Private Ryan.

As Captain Miller dies he says, "James, earn this... earn it."  And it haunts Private Ryan the rest of his life. As an old man he desperately asks his wife, 'tell me I've been a good man, that I've lived a good life.'

Thankfully, because Jesus found me, I know that is not what He said as He died. He said, "It is finished." Which is completely the opposite, it means, "Lori, you do not have to do one thing to earn this freedom."

The Inheritance

Insurmountable debt.

This is your inheritance.

An outrageous obligation!

What?! How?! Why?!

You didn't ask to be born into this!

You will NEVER be able to repay what is owed.

Not in your life time.

Not in the life time of your children, or your children's children.

In this fashion it was passed down to you from previous generations.

Which is why the debt persists.

And the burden of the liability weighs heavy on you.

It wasn't yours, but has now become yours.

It seems impossible.

It wouldn't have mattered if you'd known from day one, there would be no earning a way out of this.

Until.

One day, a man comes to you and says he will take the debt on your behalf.

ALL OF IT.

'You're crazy! No one in their right mind would sacrifice that much just to help me.'

'I promise, I can and want to do this for you. Just sign it all over to me, I've got the paperwork already drawn up.'

'What is this, some random act of kindness?  Is there a camera rolling somewhere?'

'I promise you, this is not random. I have thought this through, long and hard. Now will you let me help you?'

You are at the end of your rope.

At the end of yourself.

You don't know what else to do.

What do you have to lose?

And so you do it.

You release the debt to this stranger, who seems to good to be true.

The bank statement shows zero outstanding.

It is finished.

You owe nothing.

Not even to your benefactor.

And then a surprise twist.

You start to read the 'paperwork' he drew up.

You drop the papers along with your jaw.

You pick it back up, studying the words carefully.

You read it over and over again, looking to convince yourself of their truth.

But there it is, in black and white.

You are now the heir to a king.

Your inheritance has been swapped, from pauper to prince.

You are royalty, bequeathed a kingdom, a mansion, land, riches.

Riches far more precious than mere gold.

You received an inheritance so vast it will take all of eternity to fully comprehend it.
You were not only freed but you were blessed.

Now that is Good News.

1 Peter 1:18-19, 3-4

Works of (he)Art

A combination of revelations collided in my mind the other day, giving me this incredible ‘perspective picture’, and it’s a truth that resonated deeply within. I love it when God shows me just a glimpse of how He sees things through His eyes.

The first piece of the picture puzzle was drawn from my own conversation with God about my self-worth. God had been trying to show me back in January already that while He did create my body to be lovely and ‘wonderfully made’, it is my heart that is His masterpiece. My body is just the lovely gallery that showcases my/His (he)Art, His pièce de résistance!

There was also this whole situation that reminded me, His works of (he)art are in fact actual pieces of His heart, His heart is the medium from which we are created, we are ripped right from His chest, and He feels everything we inflict on ourselves, or others inflict on us.

Then, I was driving a few weeks ago, trying to fight off the road rage as people were ‘driving’ me crazy! God gave me a flash of seeing the drivers as humongous hearts instead of people. Not just the people I know and like, every person I saw on the road. Their hearts were His masterpiece too! They were more than the skin I was seeing, more than the brain or hands or feet I blamed, that was all just flesh surrounding His works of (he)Art.

The final piece was the song that was playing on my CD in the car shortly after. ‘His kind of love.” It was during the verse that sang “Tell me what kind of God would choose to save the bruised, the broken, the sinners, the runaways? How do you ever try to comprehend this love that knows no limit, I could try but I could not explain.” That song continues with the chorus singing, “His kind of love is reckless for us. His kind of love will never give up. 'Til the whole world knows how far He went to show His kind of love.” It reminded me of this sermon a few years back, about God dumpster diving, there is nowhere He won’t go to salvage us. Of course He wants to save the broken and discarded! It doesn’t matter what condition we are in because we are His works of (he)Art, pieces of Himself!

Imagine an artist, pouring out their imagination, their own blood, sweat and tears onto a canvas. They gift their masterpiece away only to find it later in a dumpster!? It could be torn, stained, mutilated, defaced, and left for destruction, amongst diseased and contaminated glass, needles, razors, and every other kind of disgusting, rotting, and soiled trash. It.does.not.matter. They just HAVE to rescue that piece of art, that piece of themselves, that still is bound to their mind, heart and soul.

Every human being walking the face of the earth. 

Everyone who used to walk the earth. 

Everyone who will one day walk the earth. 

Every.Single.One. 

You are His precious work of (he)Art. He didn’t JUST form you, He dreamed you up, He poured over your every detail, perfecting His masterpiece, drawing you out of His very own heart.

This has completely transformed the way I see myself, but mostly the way I see others around me now. If I feel so loved and cherished by my Creator with this perspective, how can I not extend that knowledge to others? How can I not see others as His works of (he)Art if that is the filter I want to see myself through? How can I possibly keep this perspective to myself?

Thank God I can’t.

The Relationship Vehicle

A few observations I've made while driving (coincidentally, or not, with my husband) last week. When two people enter into a relationship, especially one of a romantic nature, there are things we can fail to consider until it's too late. I came to the conclusion that this is how I'm going to explain dating to my kids one day.

When you enter into a romantic relationship, you are entering a relationship vehicle.

You both have a steering wheel.
If you ignore yours, if you give it to the other person, or if you don't figure out where you want to go, you will get taken for a ride rather than journeying together, and you will very likely get taken to places you do not want to go.  Even if you think you want the same destination, there may be short-cuts or long winding roads you don't want to take.

You both have brake and gas pedal.
You have equal access to slow or stop the vehicle, braking does work even if the other person is on the gas.  Don't feel like you are stuck in a fast moving vehicle where your only option is to open the door and jump out, risking injury, or just as bad, staying trapped in that vehicle.

You both have a gas tank.
But, you don't fill your own tank, the other person does. You control what it is that qualifies as fuel (feeling loved) but the other person is the one who has to pour it in your tank.  You can only go so far when one tank is empty, it will have the same drag effect as their brakes being on. Two empty tanks is a huge problem, do you not want to fill each other's tanks?  Do you not know how and don't communicate?

The biggest trouble is when one person will forget they have, or pretend they don't have, or they hand over their control of the vehicle.  That is a sure way to find themselves stuck in a fast moving vehicle, driving down roads they never intended - placing themselves at risk/in danger - and all just to get to a destination they either never reach or a destination they were wrong about.  It doesn't have to be that way.

Just like a GPS unit, it is wise to start with communicating each travel plan, the intended route, speed, and destination. This way you can compare, negotiate, and/or change before too much ground is covered and assumptions are made. Maybe you'll figure out you are not meant to drive together. Maybe you'll figure out your travel plans are quite different, you might be willing to drive together but knowingly for a short distance. This can save you from making terribly wrong detours/short-cuts because you know this isn't the person you are meant to get to your destination with.

Don't even get me started on all the road signs they should pay attention to. CAUTION! I missed that one :)
But, truly, I wish I had this perspective when I was a young woman, I could have equal say, and I needed to verbally say things.  My speed and route were sometimes risky and dangerous, there was some harm and pain, scars and recovery. I really hope and pray some day my kids don't have to learn the hard way.

Things I Want My Children To Know Someday

I stopped this 'segment' on my blog a few years ago, you know, not wanting to think of the children I wasn't having. But, now that I've let myself believe that could happen again another one of these thoughts popped into my head a little while ago.

So here's my latest 'Things I Want My Children To Know Someday'

Each human being is a unique recipe of ingredients God assembled to create us. Iingredients He hand picked and blended until they were just the perfect balance of what He wanted us to become. We may have the exact same ingredients as someone else but never in the same quantities and combinations, meant to develop in a way no one else can.  Not everyone will appreciate our ingredients, but that's OK. Just like taste buds, everyone has different likes and dislikes, that's the result of our individual recipe.  We may not mix well with brussel sprouts and we may not mix well with chocolate (not THIS recipe! *points to self*). But there will always be ingredients we do mix well with, and they will enjoy our company, and we may even make something better together than we do apart.

My Precious

So, apparently a diamond is a girl's best friend.

But it isn't just girls who are obsessed with precious jewels or metals, men have quite the affinity for bling themselves.

But seriously now. 

In some arenas, precious stones and metals are a huge factor in displaying wealth and success. And why? I speculate it's because of the very high standards and subjection to scrutiny their industries have, which produces only the best of the best. What better way to advertise your success than to wear a product where low-quality is pretty obvious.

Each gemstone or precious metal is regulated based on gem-quality or purities/impurities. It takes a LOT to produce such treasures! I Wiki'd the processes for just a few of the preciousnesses.

• Diamonds for example are created from carbon under high pressure and high temperatures, and then subjected to much cutting for optimization of dispersment of white light, to acheive the highest gem quality.
• Gold is also subjected to high temperatures to bring as many impurities to the surface as possible so that they can be scraped off to achieve the purest gold.
• Pearls evolve through the process of animal response to irritants - garbage, sand, seaweed, parasites, etc. - and over years of dealing with these irritants, it transforms it into something beautiful enough to be considered a gemstone.

Purity is something our world understands on a level of material treasures, but don't apply that principle to the true treasures of this world. Like our own purity or purity in relationships.

Something else our world doesn't really understand these days is how mistakes, hurts, suffering can turn out to be the best thing for us. We revel in being victims, point blame at God, and/or claim self-survivorship. But truth is, if you are going to avoid the heat and pressure, the opposite conditions turn you into a lump of coal.  If you are going to avoid the fire and the scraping, you are going to stay a lump of fool's gold.

God treasures us as we are, but we are even more precious if we allow him to mold us to be at our ultimate value. It might be through high pressure situations, stress.  It might be through trial by fire. It might be exposing us to irritants. It might be by being scraped or cut. 

But we can let it optimize our dispersement of his light.

Brad Pitt's Ego - Truthful Thursday

So I stumbled across this blog post the other day and of course the name 'Brad Pitt' drew me like a moth to a flame. Although, his attractiveness has diminished as the not-so-attractive interior shines brighter than those sparkling, magnificent eyes of his, I couldn't help but hope a little when I saw his name linked to a blog called 'Desiring God'.

Of course, I was to be disappointed.  Brad Pitt claims to have lost his faith in God because God obviously has an ego problem.

Huh?

First I have to ask him, do you ask/teach your children, biological or adopted, to address you with some parental designation? Should you have no claim to any recognition for bringing them into your family and providing for them? Isn't that simple truth, not ego? Second, if your child decides they don't subscribe to that truth, they reject you as their parent, severing the relationship completely and losing all contact with you, would they not then be cut off from all aspects (especially beneficial) of your relationship?

Or, lets take the opposite argument, just because your children praise you as their daddy, are you a genie who grants all their wishes just because they 'rubbed' you the right way? Not even taking into account the possibility the lack of honesty in those words, all they have to do is profess the magic 'your the best' and happiness is theirs?

It seems very elementary that we don't come to these same conclusions, that Brad did, in our human family units, why would we come to any other conclusions just because God has the omnipotence to essentially be the equivelant of a genie?

It also seems pretty ridiculous to me that God's 'God-ness' is the problem. How are you God if you are NOT the best, if you are not the supreme (highest authority, highest character/quality, ultimate) being? Why would anyone want to follow a God who is anything less than the best? AND, claiming to be the best isn't ego when you are perfectly and exclusively capable. And what kind of ego not only steps off it's thrown, denies all rights of deity, and allows himself to die like a criminal? Hey Brad, guess what, I too cannot see God operating out of ego, but since I know there is a God (from other, far more intellectual, arguments than this), he is not the one I stop believing in, it's the existence of his ego I eliminate the possibilty of.

There IS an ego in this relationship but it is mine....and Brad Pitt's. There is someone who whispers into our fallen nature, telling us we shouldn't need to have to humble ourselves to God just to get the 'good life' we deserve. And of course, WE determine what we deserve, because actually, it's we who know best.  And if God is such a loving God, and loves us personally, he should just give us what we 'deserve' without expecting love back.

Ya. Try that one on your spouse tonight.
'Hey Angelina, I chose you, not because you are the best, I won't even acknowledge I love you, if you want that you are just being conceited and I don't think that's very loving of you. Now give me sex.'

Again, if it seems ridiculous in human terms why would God want a relationship even humans reject? But, even being on the receiving end of that rejection, God is a loving God, and he does love you personally, and he does it without expecting love back.  But he sure does hope one day you will.

Perfect Posture

People do not naturally gravitate toward life long commitment, great communication, intentional decision to love regardless of reciprocation, humility, forgiveness, or daily consideration for the needs of a loved one above yourself, in other words, what it takes to have a successful marriage.

Yet, we attempt it anyway, we seek it out anyway.  With enough effort and perserverance, some reach marrital success.  What drives those people to make it work?  That kind of love is so rare that when it is found we are driven to do whatever it takes to make it last. The kind of love that can only be found in committment of that magnitude, the kind of love offers ultimate security, the kind of love that offers complete freedom in who you are, including the unwaivering belief in your potential and the the forgiveness of your failures.

Even with every proactive effort to sustain this love, going above what we give any other relationship, we are still imperfect and fail.  If you know this kind of love, then you know how aweful it feels to discover you have caused pain to your partner, it can feel like the worst kind of failure. I have felt it and sometimes I think it hurts me more than it hurts him. Despite your rock solid commitment, it can plant seeds of doubt that you created a crack in your foundation that could eventually lead to a rift, or worse.  You can begin to beat yourself up over it, detesting whatever it is in you that caused their pain, but that will lead you to make good changes.  It will spur you to learn and grow from that, cutting out that hurtful character, determined to patch up any weakness in that foundation and never to make that mistake again. Whatever it takes to make it last.

Strange how we can be driven to such devotion for an imperfect love with an imperfect person, yet a relationship with our perfect God  in his perfect love rarely seems to produce such results.

"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord."
—D.A. Carson

Our human relationships are love-driven, we give something tangible and we get something tangible back. But in the absence of the physical, the measurable, how can we succeed at a relationship with God on a love-driven basis, when the love is much more abstract? And that's why I feel this quote is bang on, we have to be grace-driven to reach the same kind of devotion to God, because even though God's grace can't be quantified, it is something we can qualify.

As a society we have such a poor understanding of what 'good' truly is that by comparison our definition of 'bad' is equally watered down. But only God is good. That means the rest of us who aren't God, yup, you guessed it, that makes us bad. So, if we think of every bad action we've had to forgive, or be forgiven of, it is but a drop in the ocean of forgiveness God grants us daily, because our bad actions are in fact every single thing we choose to do apart from him.  You may love many people whom you have had to forgive, but do you love and forgive every single person who has ever hurt you, and for every hurt they have ever inflicted on you?  God does.  A simple comparison of our own efforts in forgiveness proves the immeasurable grace God showers on us.

His grace, the perfect security, the perfect acceptance, the perfect faith, and the perfect redeemer.  If we let it drive us that is.  Will we let the depth of that grace devote us to the same quest for a solid relationship with Christ? The same commitment to change anything necessary to stay close to the one you love?

As the first Martin Luther tried to get the Church to see nearly 500 hundred years ago, repentence should be the whole life of the faithful, not an afterthought. "When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said “Repent,” he intended that the entire life of believers should be repentance." Repentance is to be the Christian’s continual posture.  Hundreds of years later and we still don't really understand repentence. Maybe it's in the way we define it?

Until recently I've associated repentence with regret or remorse, which are both reactive....they happen after the wrong doing, and quite frankly they are a bit passive, they don't really require any action. But our pastor studied the origins of the word repentence and part of the meaning was to abhor the committed sin, and abhor means to regard with extreme aversion. Now that's taking action, being compelled to proactively avoid sin!

Does sin make you go 'oops!' or 'never again'? Will you hope for better luck with temptation next time, or will you cultivate a loathing for all that is apart from God?  If we can take a stance against that which threatens our marriages, we can posture ourselves to protect our commitment to our groom, Jesus Christ.

The only way I know how to even begin assuming that posture permanently is on my knees. And this is my prayer:
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

The Body Shop

Overall I have to say I really do like and appreciate my body. Considering all my grumbles about it, about it's weight, problems stemming from that, problems with it that I was born with, problems with it because I'm getting older, it may not seem that way, but I do appreciate it.  I may take a lot of my body parts for granted, and wish for immediate, easy and painless 'fixes' for the areas that are not perfectly healthy, but none the less, it doesn't take much consideration to come to the conclusion I highly value my body for what it DOES do for me.

I may not like that I have a high percent of fat, but I like that my body processes food efficiently, I receive nutrients, my body is sufficiently fuelled and energized.

I may not like my crooked teeth prone to cavities, but I like that I have teeth and that they function well, I can eat whatever I want and without pain.

I may not like that my hip has a genetic pre-disposition to not sitting properly in it's socket, and becoming quite painful with walking/running when done vigorously or on paved/cement surfaces, but I like that my hips allow me to easily walk, sit, bend, etc.

About 7 years ago, my mom, only in her early 50s, had the same hip problem but so much more severe, and it had come to the point hip replacement surgery was just a matter of time. Parting with most body parts is not a thing to take lightly, but cutting out such a crucial part of your body can just feel wrong.  Should feel wrong.  It requires great trust in an expert physician, one who will take all steps to prevent or postpone removing the hip as much as possible, and then when they determine no more good can come from staying attached to it, their expertise will take the greatest care in cutting out part of your body, as well as the healing process after. That's how it went with my mom, she tried physio-therapy, medications, exercise, etc., for years she worked at trying to find a way to keep her hip as long as possible, to bring it back to health and live out a few more days without having to carve part of herself off. But the time came when the trusted physician just had to operate, there was no returning her to a healthy state without removing it.

I was about 27 when hip replacement surgery was first discussed as a possibility for mom, and considering my similar hip problems (and due to my weight, the problem was a lot more serious at a younger age) I investigated what I could do now to prevent having to resort to a hip replacement surgery in the future. I needed to be healthier, I needed to eat the right nutrients like Omega-3 which would help naturally lubricate my joints, and I needed to be more active to strengthen the muscles around my hip, and in addition to/correlation with that, I needed to lose weight so I wasn't putting so much strain on my hip.  If I did that, starting immediately, and kept it up, I could almost guarantee not having continued hip problems.  Now admittedly, I'm a little lazy, I haven't done a lot of preventative body work; my skin care has been more reactive than proactive (haha), and I have a fairly relaxed attitude about a few other health regimens, but if I have a serious health issue, I attack it like a hypochondriac! And now that weight has become a contributor to serious health issues, I became serious about the hard work needed to lower my weight. Now, anyone who has tried to lose weight, especially a pretty significant amount, knows that it is very hard work indeed, but most people would also agree that a hip replacement surgery would be harder.  It would seem ridiculous if I just gave up at 27 and said, it's inevitable.  Might as well enjoy the life I have now and just get a new hip in a few years, start over with something new. How ludicrous would it be for someone to be so detached from their body, a body of flawless design, not meant to exist without any one part? And not just detached from their body but the overall health a whole body provides, the life you are able to live because of having a whole body.  For someone to so willingly give up on it, it's almost unfathomable.

You might have guessed by now that I'm not only talking about hip replacement. You'd be right.  The Love Dare book used the analogy that so many people treat marriage like a car they would rather upgrade than repair, instead of a body part we would treat rather than amputate.  I very much agree that is the prevailing attitude in quite a few of marriages I've witnessed (Christians or not), and the time put into preventative, or even any, maintenance seems to reduce the younger the couples are.  The great physician is rarely consulted in marital health, his expertise is not trusted or even consulted when it comes to the severing.  Occasionally, eventually, the mangled mess does get handed over to him to assist in the rehabilitation.

If you can't fix it now, fix it all, fix it painlessly, then just throw it away, cast it aside, kick it to the curb. 

When did our impatience escalate so badly?  When did we flip the mantra to 'all gain with no pain'?  Why is it now considered subjecting ourselves to pain if we stay committed to a hard relationship, which ALL relationships are.  Why is our cultural (american) logic so anti-logical, thinking it's easier to replace than repair humans? If that's 'normal' I am glad I am called to be 'not of this world'.

I may be more of a 'when the going gets tough, the tough get going' kind of person, where I can lean towards too committed over not committed enough, but I still struggle with being in pain.  I stuggle being in the pain of imperfection, and sometimes I wish I could just put myself in the body shop to have a complete overhaul. I have a lot of impatience, I want to fix it all and as soon as possible. I hope I never lose sight of the whole well being of our marriage for focusing on the repairs. And realize that every marital health issue is serious and I should do as much preventative medicine as I can NOW, to reduce the need for major surgery later.  Like losing weight, preventative work on marriage is not easy, it takes dedication and perseverance, but considering the alternative it IS the easy route.

My husband is part of me. I feel what pains him and vice versa. The life that flows through him gives me life. I was not meant to be whole without him.

May I always remember that.

By the way, here is a great place to blog to check out for more motivation to be a Godly wife.

Musical Mondays - Shiny Happy People

shine
make ´em wonder what you´ve got
make ´em wish that they were not
on the outside looking bored
shine
let it shine before all men
let´em see good works, and then
let ´em glorify the Lord

                              ~Newsboys

This is the jist of the message our pastor had for us a few months ago....right before I took my hiatus....and now I'm finally sharing the impacting insight with you!

SHINE!

Immediately God tied the message to something in my everyday life as a visual and it really hit home.

I will preface this tale with the fact I am an self-admitted geek :)  I like sci-fi and gaming, just to name a few of my geeky qualities.  The hubby and I play an online fantasy, role-playing computer game, with elves, and orcs and stuff, kinda like playing a Lord of the Rings game I guess. 

ANYWAY.

In our game, Everquest, they have randomly placed 'shinies', as they are affectionally known as, strewn across the grounds of the lands we travel, and if you pick up these shinies you get a collectible item. One shiny isn't all that special of an interaction, it's usually a pretty item but doesn't do much other than hold the prospect of becoming more if collected with other shinies.  A complete collection of many shinies is the highly lucrative goal that has players pursuing shinies with a passion, producing highly valuable items that are useful to the players in the game.

Now you are probably wondering what the heck that has to do with shining God's light.
Well, as my pastor said, your light shining in the small things during the daily grind of every day life may not impact people hugely all at once, it often shows in ways that don't seem to benefit anyone.
BUT.
Collectively, being able to experience your shinyiness again and again WILL become an invaluable part of their life.
So you don't have to shine the brightest, or the biggest, or the hottest to make an impact.  Just be a shiny.

Fill er' up!

The human body (including mind and soul) is a machine, operated by biological circuitry, vehicles, computers, coding, etc., therefore it stands to reason we need fuel.  It's a very common analogy that we fuel ourselves with food.  Well taking that analogy a step further, the human machine is slightly bovine in design, having in fact four fuel tanks.

There is the obvious aformentioned 'stomach tank', using food as fuel, and the health of our biological systems depends on the quality and quantity of that fuel. 

Then there is the 'purpose tank', where fuel is the opportunities to fullfill our purpose.  I discovered this one a few months ago in my spiritual gifts course, how success and serving can still feel us leaving empty if we're not using our God given skills and talents they way he designed us for.  Everything we do doesn't have to tie into our purpose, but if we are not utilizing them in some capacity it can be hard to feel like we're accomplishing much.

Then there is the 'love tank', where fuel is the love we receive from people.  This one I discovered years ago in a book called The Five Love Languages.  If you've never read it I highly recommend it as it helps discover the five different expressions of love and which one fills up your love tank the best, and of course then you can better understand other people's 'love fuel' as well. Like a vehicle, the engine is designed to work with a specific fuel, leaded, unleaded, diesel, well so is our love tank.  When we receive love fuel that doesn't meet our specs it can be only partially/temporarily useful or even completely ineffective. Having an empty love tank not only leads to trouble in a relationship but also to deeper emotional issues like anxiety or depression, not to mention you can't give love to others when your own tank is empty.  An empty love tank can also affect other areas of your life that are not love related, you can have a full 'purpose' bank and still feel unfulfilled.

Lastly there is the 'spiritual tank', also known as the God shaped hole in all of us.  Fuel, of course, is a closer relationship with God.  I think Philippians 4:8-9 sums it up:
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."  If God is the most important relationship and ultimate purpose in our life then I believe even running on empty in the other 3 tanks can't take away the peace he can give us.
Just as most of us wouldn't even consider letting our bodies run out of food fuel to the point of not being able to run our physical body, don't let yourself run out of the other fuels either.  It may not be as easy to tell we're on empty like a growling stomach but the emptiness will have it's own way of crying out for each tank. Let me tell you, it can get just as painful as a starving stomach.

Marrital Health

I once heard about a husband and wife who were in an accident together, recouperating in a hospital together in the same room. The wife finds herself getting better, choosing to be positive and overcome the situation, but her husband, disillusioned because of misfortune, stays ill. She doesn't want to be apart from him, she doesn't want to leave him behind, either in physical location or in health, so she allows herself to remain sick enough to stay in the hospital, with him.

It can be the same way with spiritual health. On more than one occasion I have seen a woman hold herself back spiritually because she doesn't want to leave her husband behind. She doesn't want to grow apart from him, be healthier than him, because of the seperation it creates between them. I have done it, and sometimes still do it. It just so happens it's a Biblical principal that men are to be the spiritual leaders in the household, is it no wonder women have this natural inclination to hold back their own spiritual growth so that their husbands can be that leader? I don't know why women think it's so offensive to be led, especially if that's who God has created men to be. He has created us to help men, not in a sub-servient way, but service is something he has made women good at because men aren't perfect, they need the kind of help God created women to be. They need our help to be leaders.

Sometimes I can begrudge the feeling I need to hold back my growth, but I'm beginning to learn, it's not holding myself back if I shift my focus on helping my husband grow instead. I am growing in God by leaps and bounds when my focus is on my husband's spirituality rather than my own.

How Lovely is Your Dwelling Place

tem·ple [tem-puhl] –noun "any place or object in which God dwells."

I have been trying to focus for about a year and a half now on viewing my body as a temple, trying to take my health seriously because God values my body, his creation. This has helped me make healthier choices but it still is a struggle. And with a pre-disposition to being overweight and a propensity for eating too much....heck, lets not mince words, it's a food addiction, it's not just quantity, it's quality, it's frequency, it's a problem! So yeah, even now that I'm getting better at keeping weight off, and even losing, there are times I stuff myself without a consideration for my body as God's dwelling place.

At first I thought, how do I treat my home, the place I have to dwell. I make it pretty, I keep it tidy and mostly clean, but even then, comfort takes precidence. It's not exactly the standards I should use for God's 'home away from home'. Then I just so happened to hear/read (I can't remember which...oh this age thing is sometimes not fun!) about some temple laws, the sacredness they demand be honored. For example, where visitors are required to remove any footware upon entry, keeping both hands folded together, certain clothing requirements/restrictions such as wearing head coverings, walking clock-wise, recitations, completing a cleanse, can not be inebriated or intoxicated, abiding by purity laws, etc. Anything else would defile and/or disrespect the Lord of the manor.

It really does make me think...why DON'T I think MORE about it? About what I let enter my body, how I treat my body. I don't think I respect my temple very much, and I wonder if that has as much impact externally as internally, after all I'm not really creating optimal conditions for my own worship and glorifying God when I pre-occupy my mind with food addiction and lazyness, and then guilt for not 'being able' to control my weight. It's a double-diss, dishonouring the physical wholeness he's tried to give me, and as a result my self-induced struggle has caused a block in my spiritual wholeness as well, dishonouring the relationship he's tried to give me as well.

There is a risk I could get legalistic with this, it sure would make it easier if I could just say I'm cutting out everything unhealthy forever instead of having to try and figure out in each moment if my choice is building or destroying my temple. Except for the fact I'm human and I am part of the fall that has made living completely by law impossible. I have to allow myself some grace or I will fail anyway. There is a time for everything, as Ecclesiastes 3 says....and it also says (v13) "That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God." So there will be times God is gifting me the satisfaction of enjoying food, I think the key is to remember it's a gift and not a right. I've been at this realization before, and I'm StILL failing, but if there is one thing I've learned from past mistakes it is this, I'm likely going to keep failing but if I continue to give myself the grace God's afforded me I can return to abiding in his truth a lot faster than before.

Dumpster Diving

Imagine realizing you accidentally threw out something valuable. How valuable would it have to be for you to dumpster dive to save it? Think of all that you have to wade through in order to salvage your precious possession? Rotting food covered in mould and slime. Used diapers that smell so bad you want to hurl. Broken glass jutting out every where. Used needles, either with medical or narcotic materials all over it. Cat litter. Mulched leaves. Used condoms. Sharp tin can lids. Used Kleenex. The list could go on. And so could the list of diseases and injuries you could get from putting a limb in that mess.

Would you jump into that pile to search for your favorite mug? Or how about favorite sweater? Something more valuable like your wallet? An heirloom piece of jewellery? You start calculating the risk and how much is it worth to expose yourself to every conceivable vile and nasty hazard in order to save it? What would it take for you to deem it worth it?

Compared to heaven, our earth is a vile and nasty dumpster, filled with broken and messy people. A lot of us feel like we're trashed and untouchable. Unsalvageable. But God thinks you are worth diving into the dumpster for! He did it, He dove right into the middle of it, searching for all those in need of saving. And He didn't even try to avoid the danger or disease, no hazmat suite, no armor, nothing for protection. We are all worth it, no matter how many He could give freedom, it was worth it to expose Himself to the messy existance of a human.

There are those He rescues that jump right back in, either unaware they are in need of rescue or not feeling worthy enough. But He will stay there, wading neck high in our garbage, waiting until we grab His hand and let Him pull us free. Waiting until we've all taken or passed up our chance to escape the dumpster. Trust that He's there, no matter your mess, He's in it with you waiting for you to reach out to Him.

(Thanks to Pastor Todd for inspiration for this parable)

A Parental Predicament

It's been awhile since I've dared to ponder, dared to imagine, what it would be like to have a child, what it will be like to be a parent. The love I think I have now can't compare to the unfathomable love I'll experience when and if that day comes. If my heart leaps with joy at the smile of my niece, or jumps into my throat when my nephew chokes, how many thousands of times will those feelings be multiplied when it's my own child.

I know right now I would only be too grateful to be able to experience that parental love and drive to protect my child, so grateful to experience the normal worries and challenges that come with the territory of being called mom. Admittedly I probably don't see the world right now as a parent does. My perception of the economy, politics, health care, etc., is not seen through the filtered lens of responsibility for another helpless and innocent life.
Even though I want it just about more than anything, I can barely imagine what it must feel like as a parent watching the news about potential pandemic virus, H1N1. I can barely imagine what it would feel like if the baby I waited so long for might get exposed to something so scary. Or something worse. As our world ages, it is promised we will experience more pandemics, millions of people will die. My baby could be one of them.
What if tomorrow we heard about one such mystery illness? All over CNN we hear about it spreading rapidly across North America, then our whole continent, then the world. Would it make me regret bringing this much adored baby into the world? Would I trade the kind of heartache only motherhood could bring for the absence of that kind of love? I don't think I would. Even with the small glance into that kind of future we've had with H1N1, it's easy to see how the worry and the frustration would become almost all consuming, the world would be stricken with panic, normal life would seem to just about shut down as we all faced our own mortality, just the time I would need a love like that.
I would, as we all would, be praying for just one small ray of hope. And can you imagine the relief if that hope came true and a cure was found. A full cure, not just a vaccine, a cure that would eliminate any chance of further damage from this horrible, ravenous, disease. Whatever it took, the world would unite to make sure the cure became readily available to everyone, no matter the cost, financially, and likely even ethically. Normal regulatory, technical and manufacturing hurdles may be eliminated for the sake of the world. Millions of parents like me would make it so.
Imagine the only thing on our side is that the mysterious illness is slow, and so while death seems inevitable, at least the death toll is relatively low a few months down the road when a potential cure is found. They think they've found a way to use blood exposed to the disease but that for some reason doesn't get infected by it. They only managed to find one small sample of blood in all the blood banks that created this positive reaction in the disease, so immediately they begin asking people to be tested to find another, larger, blood source that could prove their theory they had found the cure. Time is still of the essence, so it is mandatory everyone is tested immediately, so that they have a higher chance of finding this blood sooner rather than later.
Imagine in every city, herded into every hospital and clinic, is every man, woman and child, including you. Including me and my precious baby. But we are all willing, for the sake of humanity we are willing. Yet, there we all are, standing around, scared, with our neighbors, wondering if this is the hope we've been praying for or if this will be the end of the world. And suddenly a name is called across the crowd. It's the name of my baby. I approach the one calling a name that sounded so sweet on any one's lips up until that moment. They take my approach as a sign of willingness and take my baby without a word. "Wait a minute. Hold on!" Five tense minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses, crying and hugging one another - some are even laughing. It's the first time I’ve seen anybody laugh in a few days, and an old doctor walks up to me and says, "Thank you! Your child's blood is the only sample in the whole world that has replicated the results of our test. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the cure." As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying. But then the gray-haired doctor pulls me aside and says,
"May we see you for moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we need ….. we need you to sign a consent form."
I begin to sign and then I see that the box for ordering the number of pints of blood to be taken is empty.
"H-how many pints?"
And that is when the old doctor's smile fades and he says,
"We had no idea it would be such a little child. We weren't prepared. We need it all!"
"But-but..."
"You don't understand. We are talking about the world here. Please sign. We-we need it all!"
"But can't you give him a transfusion?"
"If we had clean blood we would. We don’t! This illness is out of control. Can you sign? Would you sign?"
"Can't we wait to see if anymore blood will surface?"
"At this point, 95% of the world has been tested, the likelyhood there is another source of blood that will work is too low, we have to act now."
My mind begins to fly to all the people in the world that don't deserve the blood of my innocent child, that my baby's life is worth so much more than theirs. I begin with "What if not everyone...."
But the doctor cuts me off, "Please ma'am, we don't have time to waste! We can't take a chance leaving anyone infected, or we'll be back in the same predicament in months."
My child has no future either way it would seem, and so in numb silence, I sign the documents. “I'm sorry, we've got to get started. People all over the world are dying." I'm allowed to stay long enough to say goodbye, which is probably for the best, because as they tear my flesh and blood from my arms, I already can't bare to look into the eyes that seem to scream, "why have you abandoned me, why now when I need you the most do you desert me?" And, as I turn away, part of me dies too.
I leave with the broken heart I knew I would one day experience, but I imagine I would have some peace knowing I had saved the world. Each person I pass on my way out, I search for a look of gratitude, but no one knows I am the mother who sacrificed her only child so they could live. Tomorrow, when all the newscasts and newspapers victoriously announce the survival of the human race, that's when appreciation for my sacrifice would start pouring in. And it does. But then, by the next week, when they have a ceremony to honor my child, not nearly as many people show up as I would have expected. I expected them ALL! I look across the sea of faces there for a chance to say thank you, gaining some comfort from them, until I see some who slip out the back before it's over, apparently there just for show. And I see some people half way through the 2 hour service who have fallen asleep, their new lease on life already past gratitude and on it's way to being abused again. I imagine I would want to jump up and say, "MY CHILD DIED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU CARE?"

This video reminded me of this above story, I had read long before I was trying to become a parent. I saw this video, and the series on John 3:16, done by Max Lucado, at Church today, and boy did the two connect and hit home. John 3:16, 'the prescribed treatment to our ailment.' What word(s) in the verse stands out to you? To me, it was 'gave His one and only son'.
John 3:16 is probably the first Bible verse most of us ever learned, and still remember, yet probably just as taken for granted. Today, when I heard this verse, it was like I heard God whisper, "My Son died for you. Do you care?"

Vision improved by Sunlight

So, it’s time for the optometrist appointment. You know your eye sight has been getting worse and you don’t see things the way you used to, but you weren’t prepared for how bad the optometrist tells you your vision has become, apparently a lot of damage has happened in the last while. The explanation, lack of exposure to the sun. It creates blurry and distorted vision, and not being able to see things accurately has created a lot of unnecessary headaches and frustration. And it can get worse, the blurriness will eventually become darkness and you can become completely blind. After being told the amount of time you would need to spend in the light of the sun you protest, you claim you don’t have the time to be lounging out in the sun that much, you have too much to do at home and at the office, life just doesn’t allow for that kind of waste of time. The doctor explains that fixing it is more than a matter of just giving you a prescription, it wouldn’t get to the root of the problem and therefore your vision would still end up getting worse in the long run. What about reading exercises, strengthen your eyes that way, would that work you inquire? The doctor shakes their head, knowing you are grasping at straws, after all many patients attempt the same avoidance. Reading alone won’t solve anything, only direct absorption of the sun’s light will fix your vision.
Of course it’s up to you, you are told, it is all about choosing quality of life. You can live with the pain, the frustration, and the never being sure if you are seeing things the way they truly are, etc., or you can make the effort to get healed. In fact, your vision can get even better than 20/20 if you spend enough time in the sun, if you expose yourself long enough to absorb its healing properties. There will be an adjustment period, you will probably not be able to dedicate yourself to a lot of exposure right away, but the doctor encourages you to start in small doses, and when your vision starts getting better you will want to spend more time in the sun light. It’s a lot like drinking the required amount of water per day, it’s hard at first but once you are used to it, you can actually crave it when you don’t get as much as you are used to. You are sceptical but it seems it is your only option if you want to avoid becoming blind, and the only thing you can do is try. If it doesn’t work you are no worse off then you were before. You’ve never heard of this before and you wonder why now?! But if this works it would seem you were quite fortunate to have this particular optometrist, who will have spared you a lifetime of more pain.

There is an epidemic of blindness in our world and it seems to be getting worse. People who can’t see things the way they really are; they look at the world through jaded lenses, their perception of their interactions with other people are distorted, and it’s causing them additional and unnecessary headaches and frustrations. And the blindness doesn’t allow them to see the only thing wrong is their point of view.
We seem to be short on really good optometrists as well though. If only there were more of them telling us an easy answer. Well I'm tell in you now it is just that easy. Exposure to light is the answer! Exposure to the light of the world, the Son of God. The more you absorb Son light the more you are healed and can begin to see more clearly. You can see where your self-absorbed thoughts have led you down the wrong paths, and you can see when other people are steering you and themselves wrong. Having an accurate perception of the world and other people eliminates a lot of the barriers between you and others, eliminating a lot of friction and misunderstandings. But even when those things happen you have a lot more empathy for others because you can see they are suffering from the same blindness you once had.
And the Son is not only the sole source of complete healing, but the light He shines on you promises more than just seeing the world truthfully, it’s like putting on a pair of rose-colored glasses. It’s not an illusion or delusion, it’s a filter He’s placed in your perception, allowing you to see every little blessing in your life magnified. A lot of people will see a lump of coal, you will see a shining diamond. People will see an icky catapillar, you will see a beautiful butterfly. No matter the circumstances, you can expose it to His light and see the blessings instead of the curse perceived by those who are blind.