The Fellowship of the Burning Heart

God IS love.

Let’s break that down first.

I’m going to start with defining the kind of love God is.  Some people may think only Agape love (unconditional, charitable, selfless, committed) applies to God’s brand of love, but remember, God doesn’t merely HAVE love, He IS love, so He encompasses all types of love, Philia (brotherly or friendship affection), and Eros (intimate or romantic) as well. The best way to describe that kind of love is like a burning love. When fire is unleashed it does not hold anything back, it is all-consuming and fiery, it is intense, it is unwavering, and it is bold. That kind of burning love is wholehearted, it is powerful, passionate, perpetual, and profound. When consumed with burning love, there is no part of being that goes untouched, it is the essence of heart, mind, body and soul.

Love doesn’t just consume God’s heart, it IS the heart of God, the core or essence of God. God’s entire being is burning love. And if God IS love, then love IS also God! All that defines burning love can be applied to God, but also, authentic love also has the qualities of God; it is eternal, it is unceasing, it is infinite, and it is perfect. Another way we can see God and love are indivisible is through the Trinity. As the old saying goes, love isn’t love until you give it away. Love demands expression. Which is why God is one essence, or nature, expressed in three persons, where this burning love can be, and is, shared within the Trinity. 

This is the beginning of the Fellowship of the Burning Heart.  But God didn’t stop there, the joy of this burning love shared in the Trinity compelled the triune God to create beings who could also share their love, who could share the experience of the resulting joy. The expression of love doesn’t demand sharing on a small scale, it requires to be shared AND multiplied. 

For God so loved that He created the world.  

He loved us before we even knew Him. He loves us with the burning love He has for the Trinity (John 17:23). He loved us first, offering us a perfect love to respond to. And when that wasn’t enough... 

God so loved the world that He sacrificed His only Son.

The Son He loves intensely, with burning love. Because He loves us intensely, with burning love. All this so that we could participate freely in the Fellowship of the Burning Heart.  What we call salvation is really an invitation to participate in the Fellowship. God is searching for those who desire to participate.

Participate. 

Because God did not create humans to be passive recipients of love, but to be part of a fellowship where the love we have for each other consumes us. 

Because God doesn’t ask for anything that He hasn’t already given wholeheartedly.

There are so many ways we are privileged to participate in the Fellowship of the Burning Heart!

Delighting in beauty.

Passion for our purpose.

Prayer.

Loving others.

Loving yourself.

Loving God.

A heart on fire for God has a whole new meaning now!

Imagine my surprise when I picked up this book (Growing in Prayer, Mike Bickles) and started reading this amazing perspective on relationship with God, only to find, I had already branded myself as part of the Fellowship 20 months ago! Yet another layer of meaning God has given me for this tattoo!

Awhile ago I was journalling and asked God more about my purpose, He told me I was His walking billboard, advertising His love, beauty, grace, and joy through my testimony. At the time, it didn't occur to me that He also may have meant this literally, but it makes sense because I have always seen my tattoos as a part of my testimony, etching in significant lessons God has taught me so I never forget but also as a conversation starter. 

So here I am, a walking billboard for the Fellowship of the Burning Heart!

His Kind of Love

Have you ever had a goal that would require a lot of hard work, mistakes, failures, cost significant money, and yet wanted it enough to go after it anyway?

The majority of people have I would say.

Those who go off to college/university to get a degree.
Those who choose to commit a lifetime to a spouse in marriage.
Those who choose to have children.

I think there are generally two groups of people when it comes to these kinds of goals.

First,
Some people do not count the cost before beginning.
Some count the cost unrealistically.
Some change their mind about the cost being worth it.
They tend to give up on their goals.

Second,
Some take commitment seriously, no matter the costs that pile up.
Some want it badly enough, it is their top priority.
Some know that the end result being worth it depends on what you put into it.
They tend to pursue goals relentlessly.

What if you knew in advance though that you would have only 50% success rate? 25% success rate? That you gave up everything else to pursue something that ultimately in the end did not seem worth the cost.
You barely pass school to get a degree by the skin of your teeth.
Out of 55 years of marriage only 15 were good.
2 out of 3 children decide to reject you and your family and become estranged.

Many people, knowing this in advance, would at least think twice.
I dare say, most would change their mind and decide not to pursue those goals.
Even some of those second group, the most purposeful of people, would change their mind.

And those that were dedicated enough to move forward anyway, could in the heat of their battle, under duress and pain, lose hope. They could doubt. They could want to give up. They could cry out to God and say, 'please, I ask you to spare me, because I don't think I can do this anymore!'



Did you know God counted the cost?

God and Jesus formed a plan, they knew would be tremendously hard work.
They knew there was going to be the highest price to be paid.
They knew the plan would seem like a bunch of mistakes ending in failure.
But they knew their mission required no less than this sacrifice, and that it would be worth it.
They knew it was the only way to save EVERY human.
They knew not every human would accept that gift.
The 'success rate' would be low.
Even knowing that in advance they went for it.

Jesus gave up everything.
From the most perfect existence imaginable to the most defenseless existence.
Jesus gave up everything to pursue something that by the world's standards would not be worth it.
And once He was human, even He had doubts.
Under the duress and pain, His human spirit suffered, hope waned.
He cried out to God, 'My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.'

But He also said something that most humans would not, facing such great loss.

'Yet not as I will, but as you will.'

He counted the cost. 

And went through with it anyway. 

Because you are worth it.

Even if everyone else but you, in the entire history of humanity, did not accept this gift.

He would still find you worth it all.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 6

I love it when 'friends' is also family. I am so blessed to (now) get along with my sisters, we have the greatest time together!

I love that we can get each other laughing so easily, if we are together longer than a few minutes, guaranteed we will be laughing a big portion of that time together.  And that we all share the same loud laugh that everyone who knows us knows about.

I love that Tami has inspired Jodi and I to run and we are aiming to be in the next Manitoba Marathon next June together. The picture above is to commemorate the pact exactly one year prior to the race.

I love that we share the same desire to honor our husbands, and become more Godly wives. When we decided to do a devotional together this year we all resonated with a devotional on that topic and have been really enjoying it.

I love that we have so much in common, it's pretty easy picking something to do together because we all love crafting, traveling (even if it's vicariously through Folklorama), home decorating, baking (or eating baking), clothes shopping, playing board games, Just Dance, etc.

I love that we share a level of silliness that I can get to with only a handful of people. We think the same things are ridiculously hilarious and can quickly get to the point where we can't talk or breathe and our abdomen's ache because we are laughing so hard.

I love that we can be honest with each other and even if it's an unpleasant conversation we are able to work it out pretty quickly because we know how much we love each other.

I love that they have given me 5 of the most awesome nieces and nephews ever, and given me the opportunity to be an Aunt which has changed my life and added more love to my life than I could ever explain.

I love that no matter how far apart we are, or how busy, we make time together a priority.

I love that when one of us is in need our generosity is an overwhelming outpouring of all we can give.

I love that we want sister tattoos. We need to get on that! ;)


I love that no matter how often or little we are able to talk, we always pick up where we left off like we have spent no time apart. But I love that we are talking more and more in between our frequent gatherings and becoming more and more friends than sisters.

I love you Jodi and Tami <3 br="">

Eleventy Years Married

Today we reached the milestone of eleven years married.

Funny thing, on the way to our dinner plans we heard on the radio 'this day in history' that Johnny Cash and June Cartee were married March 1st!  We just happen to have an affinity for the couple, we LOVE the song inspired by them 'Johnny & June' and used lyrics from it in our vow renewal last year. Another interesting tidbit we learned after Wiking them over our starter soup was they were married the year my parents were married and they bothw passed away the year we were married.

I am certain we will have a legacy of love just as strong and devoted. ♡

Delayed Date Day

December's date kept getting delayed, and delayed, and delayed until finally today was the day! We finally saw The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug!

Because Sean was the instagator of the delays I asked to go out for dinner in the village which he typically doesn't like but I really wanted to try Unburger. And so we did :) 

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 5

My friend Lori. Yes, spelled the same and everything :) She starts off on the right foot, that's for sure!

This is long overdue but it's because I was searching high and low for a photo of us. I hunted for a picture from early in our friendship....and I mean early, like almost 30 years ago. You see, Lori was first introduced to me as my babysitter :) Amazingly, we reconnected, I'd guess close to 7 years ago now, over Facebook.

We didn't just reconnect, we really connected! Besides our name we have a tremendous amount in common, and not just our interests but just many pieces of what makes us who we are. We are convinced God created us to be deep spiritual friends, and what a blessing it has been.

I love her reliable honesty, I know Lori will tell me exactly how she feels or thinks about something, and I can trust she isn't holding anything back because she cares too much about me to tell me anything but the truth.

I love that in the darkest hour she doesn't retreat, she does not isolate, she does not lose faith, she seeks until she finds.

I love that just about every time I do one of those FB question-survey thingies, Lori comments how alike her answers would be; from our list making, our recipe sharing, the fact we are both fascinating, and much more.

I love that she knows what to pray for me sometimes even before I do, and that God will lead us to the same Biblical truths/principles (Scripture, devotionals, visions) at the same time, through completely separate circumstances.

While I don't like we have both had a year of struggling, I love that I have had Lori to struggle alongside of. It is comforting to have a friend who understands and we don't have to suffer in silence, we know we're not alone and that has helped a lot.

I love that she shares my sense of humor, a little sarcastic and dark.

I love that we are also both contentious about food, health, wellness, and quality of life in a way that actually still allows us to enjoy life. We have shared quite a few wellness resources over the years.


I love Lori's insights and viewpoint on just about every subject, I love engaging her in conversation and whatever the topic (maybe because we have so many overlapping interests) I know I will be interested to hear what she has to say on the matter.

I love that no matter what Lori has going on in her own life, she makes time for the friends that need her, especially me :)

Heart on Fire

Heart on Fire.

This was the basis for my first bit of inspiration about my next tattoo, back in about 2008. My heart had been reignited, it was back on fire for God.

I wanted it on my 'sleeve', tattoo talk for arm, because I have always 'worn my heart on my sleeve'.

As I mentioned briefly in this post, it represents that I feel things deeply, what is imprinted on my heart burns with a deep passion, and I am on fire for those passions planted in my heart.

When I had my consultation I asked for a few things to create the impression I wanted to make, all colour, an ethereal fiery & smokey feel, and if possible, the flames to form an S & L for Sean and Lori.

I've seen my tattoos as a way to tell my testimony creatively and beautifully, an extension of my artist heart. I love when my initial tattoo inspiration grows and becomes so multi-dimensional in significance to me.  I was so excited for this tattoo, and my artist was too.

Then the waiting began.

And as I waited more of my story was unfolding.

God was growing my heart, my passions, the fire.

And my ability to feel deeply moved deeper to the very core of my being, my empathy and emotions grew in a way I knew I was created to feel.

Not only was the significance of my heart on fire tattoo deepening every day, it was being added to.

As I wrote in that same post, it became a reminder of who I want to be, who I think God is calling me to be.

As I wrote in this post, it even became to tied to my story of wanting to be a mother.

And then it was finally time. And when I first saw the art before it was on me, I was blown away. Once again, it was like my artist was inside my mind. This happened before with my butterfly tattoo, but it still shocked me that it could happen again.

I know it is a 'God is an artist' thing. God created my tattoo artist to be SO talented in this way, and whether she knows him or not, I know he had a hand in creating this tattoo for me.

The thing that blew me away the most was the watercolour effect she used. I had actually just been dreaming of a new tattoo that could incorporate that, and now I had one. 

Another cool thing was how a flame lick connected with the "L" flame lick to create a cross.

Almost 5 hours later, I was just about the end of my pain threshold, and my artist said, she could go as long as I could. That my skin seemed meant for tattooing. And that with this tattoo in particular, she could just keep going, she was enjoying the creative process so much, constantly inspired to add little details, it was so enjoyable for her. My pain had to stop her enjoyment :)

It wasn't until a week or so later I realized the biggest significance this tattoo now represents to me. And God knew it all along, because he knew my design that I had in mind would reflect a conversation I would have with him five years in the future. 

This conversation.

Where he showed me he created me like a painting, taking the paint brush and dipping it into his heart to get the colours to create me. And how he spoke over me, "Just like you can't stop fussing over your favorite creation, you just can't be done working with it because it's too wonderful a feeling, you never want to stop, that's how I feel about you."

Everything about this tattoo is the story of how and why God made me. 

Etched in my heart and on my sleeve forever.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 4

This is my dear friend Megan, one of my first friendships I recognized in the moment was orchestrated by God.

I love that God knit her into my heart almost from day one, reminding me of myself a few years ago on many levels.

I love her refreshing honesty and humility, and the way she combines it with humor to caption life.

I love her willingness to let God transform her, her desire to see His will prevail in her life. I love that she allows herself to be teachable, and that her heart is to please God.

I love her heart for the hurting, her empathy that seems to truly understand other people's pain. No matter what she is going through she will take the time for a friend.

I love that we share the same desire to honor our husbands, that we refuse to complain about them with each other, our marriages and our relationships with our husbands are sacred.

I love that we can talk for hours on end and it feels like we've shared only moments, we try to wrap up our conversations at a 'decent' hour and yet can't seem to tear ourselves away from the conversation and talk way later than intended.

I love that we share so many favorite things, like crafty hobbies, cooking healthy, going for walks, and geekiness like Big Bang Theory to name a few.

While I don't love that we suffer from some of the same problems, it is comforting to have a friend who understands and we don't have to suffer in silence, we know we're not alone and that has helped a lot.

I love that she has faithful prayed for my motherhood, I'm honored by how much she has interceded on our behalf.

I love her heart of hospitality, she is so generous and thoughtful, picks out great gifts, hosts great get-to-gethers, remembers special occasions, and all around enjoys making life special for those who are special to her.

I am so glad I can call this special lady one of my best friends and that she considers me a special friend as well. 

Love you Megan.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 3

This is long over due since I meant to write it shortly after the long weekend when we spent time together (and snapped this pic). This is my friend Esther. We almost look like we could be sisters here :) We are funky coloured hair sisters, you can't tell but my hair is pink and hers is purple, lol.

Esther and I met through another friend of mine over a year ago and then she was invited to join the small group we were starting together last November and I am so grateful to have gotten to know this amazing young woman.

Despite the fact right now I am exactly double her age, I rarely ever feel the age gap when we talk. Maybe because I'm young at heart, maybe because she's so very mature, but either way, we enjoy our hours of chatting with nary a blip of generation gap.

This girl is going places! She inspires me all the time with her abilities, to sing, to act, to cook/bake, to sew, etc. I was at her grad last June (she was the home school association valedictorian) and I was so beyond impressed at her portfolio, the devotion she created and taught at age 9, the song she sang about graduating that she wrote in a few days. I will one day say, I knew her when.

Esther is a light, shining bright. Everything about her. Her name means star. Her eyes are illuminating. Her smile is so sunny. She lights up a room when she comes in. She also radiates Jesus, she is that light in the dark because her love for him exudes through everything she does.

Esther and I have this interesting bond, over our bodies and food and self-image. Even though they have manifested in different ways, our struggles really resonate with each other and I have found so much healing in just sharing this journey with her. She has helped me feel beautiful and I hope I have helped her feel the same.

Esther speaks through music. She played a song at small group the day after my miscarriage that really helped remind me I was in God's hands. She also wrote a song, just for me, about being beautiful. She has a healing touch through her music.

Esther is silly, a trait I love. We spend a lot of time laughing, a favorite past time :) Especially once she caught on that sarcasm is really acting....then she quickly became an expert! LOL.

Esther sees people, like the depths of their soul 'sees' people. I feel like her eyes look right into the heart of me. Sean has said the same thing. And I see how she has drawn out other people as well, seeing the best in people, wanting to come alongside people, loving people. She reminds me of myself a little.

I love this girl SO much, ahem, I mean young lady, after all she is 18 now. I can only imagine the places she'll go and the things she'll do, and I'm already having to learn to let her go but she'll always be my Star.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 2

As I've been putting thought into the people I am so grateful to have in my life, it can get a little overwhelming realizing how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many amazing gifts from God.  The next person I wanted to express admiration and gratefulness for is my cousin Pam.

See that beautiful smile? It's pretty contagious!

I love that we do so much laughing when we get a chance to catch up. I enjoy that our spin on life it to find the humor in life, not taking ourselves too seriously!

I love that we have known each other for over 36 years and still love spending time in each other's company. I can't think of a time, at any age, that we didn't get along. Sure I stole her cookie at age 2, but from what I understand she got over it pretty quickly and never held it against me :)

I love that she has always been the outgoing one and while I used to be very shy, she made being an extrovert look SO much fun and I'm sure she helped me out of my shell....especially when we'd hang out with all her friends, I was constantly meeting new people with her.

I love that we can walk and talk for many hours and many kilometres, and they both just seem to fly in each other's company. Our pace has changed over the years as we have simultaneously increased our self-care to include the health of our bodies, so while our priority has been time spent together, exercise has been an awesome bonus!

I love that because we are family we just get it. Family shapes you, and so while we didn't grow up in the same house we grew up with similar dynamics, and heritage, and inheritances (not the monetary kind), that few others will get, especially both being the oldest child. Its nice to just have that unspoken understanding.

I love that her family is an inspiration to me, her marriage to her highschool sweetheart and the way they have raised their children is really special, so much love and loyalty, a real rarity these days....I'm taking notes! 

I love that she loves her job! I don't know if I've ever met anyone who loves their job as much as she does, and it shows in her work. She has been MB new teacher of the year. Her classroom antics have got her on the news - of course positively.  The parents and children and co-workers who love working with her.  It's all a testament to her God-given talent as a teacher, and it's helped drive me to find that kind of driving passion that will impact lives. Just as a member of society, knowing there are teachers like her out there gives me hope.

I love that she has prayed for me faithfully since the day I confided in her about our struggle with infertility. She has never been anything but supportive and encouraging and full of faith it would happen. Just what I've needed.

I'm so glad to share the same DNA as you Pam, but even more blessed to share life with you! I love you!

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 1

A thought came to me the other day.

"I hope I never forget the impact this person has had on my life."

Then another thought occurred to me.

"I hope this person knows how much they mean to me."

So, since I have a blog for documenting important pieces of my life, I figured there are some pretty important people in my life I would like to commemorate.

This is in no particular order, I am just starting with my most recent friend Yasemee (Yaz) because she is far, far away right now in Micronesia, learning how to become a missionary. And so I miss her and think of the wonderfulness she adds to my life that I don't get to experience on a weekly basis anymore.

So.

This is my dear friend Yaz.

Isn't she so beautiful?

I love the expressions on her face, they are so lovely, insistent, dramatic and speak volumes, they are often accompanied by inspiration or large laughter, hers and mine.

I love her passion, whatever comes her way she either loves or hates with passion! It's contagious.

I love her hunger for God and her boldness in her faith.

I love the truth she speaks and writes, it stirs up so much emotion in me yet soothes my soul.

I love that God knit her into my heart almost from day one, because we are so alike (on the inside ;). She reminds me of me quite a few years ago. She reminds me of David with Jonathan.

I love that 14 years age difference makes no difference, and we are so compatible.

I love that she is my kind of silly and we have just as many hilarious conversations as deep spiritual ones.

I love that she's awesome at what I struggle with and she calls me Yoda :)

I love that we have the same shoe size despite the big discrepancies in the rest of our bodies, lol. (she's in really high heels in that photo). My consolation prize for living without her for a few months is babysitting some really cute shoes of hers, and her incentive to come back is my cute boots she can borrow :)

I love the lens she sees me through because it echos the truths God tells me about myself.

I love that she allows herself to be teachable, and that her heart is to please God.

I love her voice. The singing. The accents. The laughter. The synchronized surround sound screeching (with me).

I love that we can talk for hours on end and it feels like we've shared only moments, and we just about get kicked out of restaurants because of it.

I love that our relationship has so many deep relational facets, she gives me the opportunity to be a friend, a mentor, a sister, a mother, a comforter, a Yoda....etc. 

I love that she is one of my biggest cheerleaders, I know God has put her in my life at one of my lowest points of self-worth for a reason.

I love that she acts more in faith for our future children than I do sometimes.

I love how much I smile with her.

I love that our spiritual passions overlap in many places, and I look forward to facing this world with her in my life, my small group, my Church, my city, my family.

As deep cries out to deep. 

I love you Yaz!

When I grow up.....

I want to be just like her.

Did you ever say that?  

I've had a few really great role models but until lately I don't know if I've said 'just like her.' Sure there are role models I have where I really admire them but typically it's a handful of attributes I would want to emulate. 

In the last 2 years God brought into my life 2 women who I was slowly getting to know better, and as I did I saw someone I increasingly desired to model myself after. It was about a year ago I realized I really wanted to intentionally seek out a source relationship, someone who could mentor me, especially spiritually. I felt one of these two women could definitely be that source, I just had to be patient and let God do the networking, that's how I would know it was the right fit. Trouble is, when you find a woman like that, and she's a few years older than me (12-20ish) she already has quite the community surrounding her, so moving into deeper relationship moved slowly.

And so I waited patiently.  I saw a deep affection was building, especially when life got hard six months ago. That's when both of these relationships really took a step deeper, yet I knew the timing wasn't quite right to initiate something more intentional.  Life started getting more challenging for both these women in February and the time they had available shrunk. Our connection times were fewer and while our moments together couldn't afford going any deeper, what moments we did have were still strong and encouraging. 

And so I waited patiently.  And then in May we found out one of these women's challenges would mean they were moving back to the USA. It was unexpected and not planned, but their family circumstance dictated the move. And not only did I lose a friend and potential source, but her husband has been Sean's source and mentor for the last 2 years. But life happens, and we knew God was moving evidently in their circumstances, so I made peace with the bittersweet goodbye.

And so I waited patiently. Meanwhile, my other friend's life was also getting more challenging, I hardly saw her at all since February, with a daughter's illness, father-in-law's passing, and then needing a break so they took a few weeks to visit family in BC. Shortly after returning in early July she suffered a seizure due to an aneurysm. As I mentioned last week, she didn't survive it. 

From what I knew of her before her passing, I knew this loss was significant. From what I know of her now, since her funeral, the loss is even more substantial. I found out so many amazing things about her from tributes that showed me how perfect she would have been as that source relationship. Even small things.  Like she wears her heart on her sleeve, like I do, and she couldn't and didn't want to hide her emotions.  Like she felt things deeply, something that has been said about me in those exact terms. And like attributes I've wanted to flourish more in my life, she had them in spades! Like what kind of co-worker she was and what kind of mother she was. And like her education (slightly different than her job, so I didn't know about) which is exactly what I have had a passion for and recently a nudge to possibly pursue. I actually started taking notes during her tributes, because it was like a they were describing a template for the me I've wanted to be. 

And so it makes me wonder even more why she was taken away so soon. But as was said very frequently during her funeral, her spirit lives on in us, and I know that I have taken that to heart and I intend to take that up as a personal challenge. In fact, I actually have a tattoo scheduled in a week, a burning heart on my 'sleeve'. It represents that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and that I feel things deeply, what is imprinted on my heart burns with a deep passion, and I am on fire for those passions planted in my heart. This to me sums up what I learned from her life and so I am glad the timing of this tattoo is what it is (it's been hitting delays for 3 years), because now it is also partly a memorial tattoo. 

And so I don't really know where to go from here. And so I wait patiently. 

Recipe for Bliss

4 beloved friends

2 glitter tattoos

1 bowl of chocolate & banana ice cream swirl with peanuts

Conversations of truth and love

1 aimless wander

1 daring dash over a train bridge

Arbitrary admiration among strangers crossing paths

Joyous, bubbling over, laughter

Sweltering hot sun

Cool sprinkles of rain

Full double rainbow 

Works of (he)Art

A combination of revelations collided in my mind the other day, giving me this incredible ‘perspective picture’, and it’s a truth that resonated deeply within. I love it when God shows me just a glimpse of how He sees things through His eyes.

The first piece of the picture puzzle was drawn from my own conversation with God about my self-worth. God had been trying to show me back in January already that while He did create my body to be lovely and ‘wonderfully made’, it is my heart that is His masterpiece. My body is just the lovely gallery that showcases my/His (he)Art, His pièce de résistance!

There was also this whole situation that reminded me, His works of (he)art are in fact actual pieces of His heart, His heart is the medium from which we are created, we are ripped right from His chest, and He feels everything we inflict on ourselves, or others inflict on us.

Then, I was driving a few weeks ago, trying to fight off the road rage as people were ‘driving’ me crazy! God gave me a flash of seeing the drivers as humongous hearts instead of people. Not just the people I know and like, every person I saw on the road. Their hearts were His masterpiece too! They were more than the skin I was seeing, more than the brain or hands or feet I blamed, that was all just flesh surrounding His works of (he)Art.

The final piece was the song that was playing on my CD in the car shortly after. ‘His kind of love.” It was during the verse that sang “Tell me what kind of God would choose to save the bruised, the broken, the sinners, the runaways? How do you ever try to comprehend this love that knows no limit, I could try but I could not explain.” That song continues with the chorus singing, “His kind of love is reckless for us. His kind of love will never give up. 'Til the whole world knows how far He went to show His kind of love.” It reminded me of this sermon a few years back, about God dumpster diving, there is nowhere He won’t go to salvage us. Of course He wants to save the broken and discarded! It doesn’t matter what condition we are in because we are His works of (he)Art, pieces of Himself!

Imagine an artist, pouring out their imagination, their own blood, sweat and tears onto a canvas. They gift their masterpiece away only to find it later in a dumpster!? It could be torn, stained, mutilated, defaced, and left for destruction, amongst diseased and contaminated glass, needles, razors, and every other kind of disgusting, rotting, and soiled trash. It.does.not.matter. They just HAVE to rescue that piece of art, that piece of themselves, that still is bound to their mind, heart and soul.

Every human being walking the face of the earth. 

Everyone who used to walk the earth. 

Everyone who will one day walk the earth. 

Every.Single.One. 

You are His precious work of (he)Art. He didn’t JUST form you, He dreamed you up, He poured over your every detail, perfecting His masterpiece, drawing you out of His very own heart.

This has completely transformed the way I see myself, but mostly the way I see others around me now. If I feel so loved and cherished by my Creator with this perspective, how can I not extend that knowledge to others? How can I not see others as His works of (he)Art if that is the filter I want to see myself through? How can I possibly keep this perspective to myself?

Thank God I can’t.

Surprise!

Have you ever tried to surprise someone? The planning, the cunning, the secrets, the anticipation, the excitement. You just can't wait to see the look on their face, their startled yet joyful reaction!

Have you ever planned to surprise someone who hasn't seen you in a while? Maybe a long distance friend who didn't expect you?  Maybe even a reunion years in the making? You may have to wait a few minutes for the recognition to light up their eyes.  Partly because they would never expect to see you in this unexpected place, partly because it's been awhile since they've seen you. You just about can't stand the suspense as you wait for them to see you, to really see that it's YOU!

Many years ago, there were 2 gentlemen on a trip, they came across another man journeying in the same direction so they decided to travel together. The 2 men had recently just lost a close friend, they were consumed with grief and they were feeling quite hopeless. The 3rd man tried to speak hope into their situation, and the other 2 felt it warm their hearts a little. As they reached the town they were heading to, the 3rd man mentioned he was still on his journey and was about to continue when the other 2 invited him to stay with them for dinner. He accepted their gracious invitation. They sat and ate together.

And he waited.

He waited, secret smile hidden.

Waiting in eager anticipation for them to recognize him.

To really see him.

And then they did! They realize, they KNOW him!

And he knows them. Knows them like no one ever has.

Surprise! "I'm Alive!"

He is risen! He is risen indeed.

Best Things in Life - Anniversary Edition

10 best things (in no particular order) about our 10th anniversary vow renewal celebration!

1. Save a few long distance loved ones, all of the most important people in our life all in one room celebrating with us. It was so nice for all of our circles to meet, and to see the ways they overlap, and the bonds developing amongst our loved ones.

2. Also, our guests were beyond generous with words of encouragement, affirmation, inspiration, love and even gifts (so not necessary, but such a blessing!). Thank you!

3. Favorite gifts: bacon (yes, real bacon!) and this is our reaction to opening it.

 and these lovely drawings from my nieces and nephew (really, every gift was so appreciated!)
(not this nephew, the older one :)

4. Amazing dessert spread by the most talented ladies, and dear friends, who went above and beyond to bless us and make our celebration special. They even surprised us with bacon brownies! If you ever need something catered, I have the ladies for you!


5. Our pastor, and friend, and Sean's mentor, Duane's inspiring and insightful ceremony, who spoke about the very themes Sean and I individually selected for our vows.What a great reminder of what love should be and can accomplish.

6. Our vows. Written completely independent of one another and yet we took the same theme from the exact same song! The rest of our vows were also heavily song inspired, but we still made each other cry. And laugh. I had to include something about bacon, little did I know it would become a mini-theme for our day!

7. Keeping it simple but lovely.

8. Surprise song Sean arranged with our friend Steve. He had Steve, and his wife, my good friend Kristi, re-work the song God Gave Me You and then Steve performed it right after Sean's vows, sneaking behind me on to stage so I didn't know until Sean was turning me around and he started to play.

9. How much our love impacts those around us. They cried with us, they laughed with us, they were filled with hope, they were inspired, they were blessed, they were encouraged, they were overjoyed. The ripple effect of our love....so humbling.

10. Committing my life to my amazing husband all over again, remembering why I love him and why he's my best friend, and looking forward to a life time of love.

Today, Tomorrow, Forever

I try, but I have no words that truly capture how much I love you, how much you mean to me. I use songs that say it poetically, but even all the country songs combined can't capture what I feel for you. All the poets and the sea of ink they've penned for all of time, even the most lovely of letters only begin to scratch the surface. The greatest story tellers in history, the greatest love stories of all ages, I see us in them, but know we have so much more. Our story is my favorite. It may be an impossible task to convey 12 years of love, 10 years of marriage, in a few lines, but I'll try.

I'll try today.
I'll try tomorrow.
I'll try forever.

Happy Anniversary my love, my Sean.

I could not ask for more

12 years ago today I was introduced to the possibility of dating Sean, and listening to country music :) Not long after I was hooked on both. 2 years later I sang this at our wedding.

"These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment
is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me."

Still very true. Even more true I'd say.

May the words of my mouth

Part 2 of the series "Soul Detox" I watched the other night (in front of my treadmill, wahoo!), was just as amazing as the first part, I just had to share.

I have learned over the years, in my marriage, that often it was more beneficial to be silent and praying for God to transform Sean than what I called 'being encouraging.'  When I was 'encouraging' I was spouting off about all he could be, and did that for years before I realized I was doing exactly what hadn't worked on me, and in fact had hurt me deeply, with lasting insecurity issues. So, since I couldn't say anything 'nice' I didn't say anything at all and prayed instead. It worked......slowly. But Sean grew at a much more rapid pace when I learned what real encouragement was.

About 8 months ago I read a book, 'His Needs, Her Needs.'  The section about His Need for Admiration hit me like a bullseye. Summary - Admiration is one of the greatest motivators for men. When a woman in particular expresses admiration for her husband that inspires him to achieve more. Then he sees himself more capable of achieving more. Admiration from his wife gives him more satisfaction than from a paycheck. He needs to be appreciated for what he already is, not what he could be (if he lived up to your standards). Without admiration men lack belief in themselves and are inherently more defensive about their shortcomings. They hate/fear hearing a critical view of themselves. A man expects, and needs, his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan. That's where he gets his confidence and energy. So when a woman feels it's her right/obligation to 'straighten out' her husband it feels like a downpour of disapproval, not the shower of approval they need. Criticism/disrespect makes massive Love Bank withdrawals. 

At the GLSummit this fall I watched a session by Craig Groeschel, the toxicity in different relationships, and he gave an example of counseling a couple with his wife and the woman spent the entire session picking apart all that her husband needed to fix about himself. They couldn't believe, even in a counselling session she would speak so disrespectfully about him in front of others, and tried to correct her on that attitude, and she replied to Craig's wife, 'well, if I had a husband as great as yours maybe I could appreciate him more.' His wife quickly replied, 'maybe if you appreciated your husband, he could be a great man.' That really confirmed what I read and I tried to really absorb that message.

Well, this message from Craig Groeschel reiterated that same idea, and it sunk in even deeper. The words I speak to him are either life-giving or life-taking. I want my husband to feel like he's winning! I want my words to build him up.  Ephesians 4:²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

 If you struggle with how to talk to your husband with life giving words (or anyone for that matter), I greatly encourage you to watch this video.

http://www.elevationchurch.org/sermons/souldetox/part2

He's catching on

I forgot to take a pic of these when they were fresh, but I still think they look lovely on the way to decay.
A gift back in 2012, so that's flowers 3 times in one year. That's a record! <3