Ok, I feel like I may have been a bit too ambitious with this challenge, trying to do something every day has been hard! I've resorted to things like letting him pick the new car airfreshner (he kept taking mine down when he drove because it was too girly), cutting up his dinner (because he always teases that I cut my own up but not his when it's served), and several failed favorite meal attempts (they all flopped, from being too dry to too greasy, ugh!). But I do think the important thing is that I've been conscious every day about my challenge, and trying to make him feel loved and appreciated.
However, the consciousness hasn't sunk deep enough because while packing I mentioned I wanted to replace our dishes (big no no, wasn't supposed to mention any purchases until after we moved), but he had kinda brought it up because I was packing things I wanted to get rid (I had mentioned a few months back I was considering changing dishes/kitchen decor). I mentioned that, because they were such a small item, I was considering getting rid of current dishes and buying new ones before we moved. All of a sudden he got really frustrated and exclaimed loudly, 'why do we need new dishes at all!!' Now I don't think getting new dishes is unreasonable, I've had these cheap old ones for almost 10 years, the dishes I want are less than $100 to replace what we have, and he's been talking about buying tools that aren't necessary but costly. I don't think what I want is unreasonable enough to warrant the reaction I got, but I'm pretty sure the reaction had everything to do with reminding me why this was on my list for the challenge in the first place.
On the plus side, I have been more complimentary, taking opportunities to tell him what I love about him, and 'brag' about those aspects to other people, when he's around so he knows I really appreciate him.
I have also been doing fairly well at speaking lovingly. I've been pausing before I say things that may not be recepted positively and then really think/pray about if it needs to be said and if so, how can I say it in a loving way.
I need to work on the anticipation of needs a little more, I was doing really well at first but then I went to Saskatoon and then had a difficult personal situation that we've been wrestling with, so my concentation on his needs hasn't been 100% like I wanted to be, but I'm getting back there.
One big thing I think I've done for Sean is start following God's purpose for me as his wife. The message at Church lately is the Abundant Life, which is only possible by allowing God to change us, surrendering to Him and letting Him do the work. It has changed how I view myself and how I view others, including my husband. It has allowed me to release negative feelings and hurts I have and realize those only exist because there are areas God still needs to work in, in me and in others. Not only have I stopped trying to change myself, I've stopped wishing others would change, and now I focus on allowing God to give me the abundant life, and I pray that others will receive it too.
This is a little bunny trail off topic, but I've had a little epiphany. All my life I've felt as a Christian I was called to bring God glory through my obedience, by being 'good'. In actuality, the best way I can bring God glory is by letting him live my life, and that's what people will notice. That's what people will respond to. And that's the best thing I can do for my husband, and for all my relationships.
So, yeah, that's my update. One week left, I hope to make the most of it!
1 comment:
I found last year, too, that I had been a little optimistic when setting out in the beginning, but I think consciously thinking about it on a regular basis still makes it a success. Ever since last summer when I participated in this challenge, I've taken my role in my hubby's life a lot more seriously.
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