So, I am pretty great at multi-tasking, not so great at power tools, so a few years after I had the idea of a shelf in front of my treadmill to watch online sermons on my laptop WHILE walking/jogging! Brilliant! But because I had to wait for the power tool user of the house to finally have time, it's NOW finally done!!! I'm so stoked, I watched 2 in one evening! And the only trouble is, it's HARD taking notes! :)
But I managed just enough in order to share just a bit.
Thoughts. I have spent a life time being too affected by my thoughts. Thoughts that have often had toxic effects. Leaking poison into my life.
Negative - I give and give and give, everyone else takes.
Worry/Fear - what if I can't, or what if I never...what if I'm rejected
Discontent - I don't look like I'm supposed to, I don't have what I want....
Critical - how can someone do that, or why can't you just, or why am I so....
Lately I have the self-critical variety of thoughts seeping into my mind; about my body, my lack of self-control, lack of self-discipline, lack of obedience, self-sabotage and lack of self-love.
I've been so mad at myself!
WHY do I listen to that thought that says I want.... (insert unhealthy treat here)? Or. The thought that says I don't want....(insert exercise of any sort here)? Why do I insert self-blame here? I treat myself, or I failed myself. I allow myself to listen because it's my desires. Right?
I am learning, there is no such thing as neutral thoughts, thoughts only from myself. Yes, I am the one making the choice to act on those thoughts, but I am not giving enough credit to the creep whose voice rings in my head, sounding like my own, saying I want chocolate and I don't want to be active. My thoughts I've considered, at worst, undermining but mostly harmless, but now I know those thoughts that aren't from God are lethal!
It sounds so stupidly simple now. I know it's called 'temptation', duh, but I gave myself all the credit for those desires. My mind has been has been a little blown! Hopefully this is the transforming by the renewing of my mind I need! Now I know, those thoughts are attacks, I need to take them captive and recognize them as trash, not truth.
If you struggle with your thoughts, I really encourage you to watch this message on detoxing your soul from toxic thoughts.