Batter Up

I have admittedly taken a very passive role in my own life up until now.

In dating I have definately avoided pursuing. A little because I'm an old fashioned romantic, with silly girl notions of being swept off my feet. A lot more to do with self-esteem issues. In fact, I would rarely even start a crush without some evidence (using the word loosely) he might like me back (conveniently forgetting how fickle 'like' was in my school years).
Same with what you could call my career. With the exception of one promotion back in my telemarketing days, I have not really pursued advancement or getting a better job, once I already had a job. My Human Resources position, they approached me to move up from Supervisor. My switch to Payroll was also offered to me due to circumstances in HR at the time, and my second attempt at Payroll, I was pursued by a third party agency even though I wasn't entirely sure I was looking for something different. And my job at Golder, a co-worker of my husband asked if he knew anyone qualified, he gave her my resume, and the rest is history.
The same has happened with our house, we never had to house hunt, the opportunity landed in our laps, as did our first car. This has been a blessing in many ways, one we have not taken for granted, however it has all of a sudden hit me that what has seemed 'meant to be' may be just be second best because I have been a bystander. I have a life I have been living but I have not been living my life.
I realized this due to the message on prayer we had at Church recently. Before that message I felt I was praying for God's will, that I would be happy to fulfill his purpose for my life. I kept asking for Him to give me my purpose, wondering why He is waiting so long to reveal it to me. But now I see that it's just another example of me sitting on the sidelines, waiting for life to happen to me. But my paradigm is changing. God isn't the kind of boss who just wants to tell you what to do and have you do it, He wants us to be a team with Him, participating in developing the purpose He has for us, working with Him to figure out the best way to do that. He wants to be our mentor, sharing the ways He can help us reach our goals. I wonder how much closer I would be now to fulfilling my purpose if I hadn't been the hesitant, unconfident bystander I've been. It's still a bit of a foreign concept to me, but there is no use in being unconfident, doubting you can live up to your purpose, because we were created to be successful in our purpose.
"Life is not a spectator sport", finally, this point has hit home with me.