She let herself go

I have found myself over the last few months paying way less attention to my looks.  Not that I’ve let myself go completely! But I’ve let myself go a little, in a good way.  I have never been high maintenance, but there are a few things I was particular about, like my hair having to be ‘just so’ – I hated stray hairs or unsmooth pony tails, etc., and I had to get rid of chipped nail polish quickly, and thinning out my eyebrows.  But, time is in short supply these days, so I haven’t stayed on top of these things like I used to.  And at first it bugged me. A few times I’ve noticed my lack of maintenance upkeep on Fridays and of course there is NO time on Fridays to sneak in a quick ‘fixer upper’, but there is another reason I end up not worrying about it.  I stop and think of the message I may be sending with having to appear 'perfect', having to have a ‘pristine finish’ to my appearance.  I may feel prettier, but a less than perfect exterior may actually be more inviting to the people I see Friday nights.  I think of when I was in my darkest moments I might have (and likely did) begrudge the 'perfection' I noticed in others.

So, I'm letting myself go.  I waited a few weeks longer than normal to touch up my roots.  I have almost every finger with chipped nail polish. I have some straggly hairs that refuse to be tamed and I don't care.  I may have worn the same top last week because I haven't had time for laundry.  And I think I'm becoming a better person for it.