I need a refill but I'm not entirely sure what I need refilled! Haha. Well, that's not completely true, I do have some indicator lights flashing, as I've been sitting and thinking for a few weeks now, wondering what has caused this draining feeling.
I need a refill on energy and time.
When my one small group ended our weekly meetings at the beginning of April I thought I would feel so much more of both, energy and time. It's only been 6 weeks but I am MORE tired! How did that happen?? I know there was still a lot in my schedule in April that isn't usually, 2 family gatherings instead of one, a grad to help plan and attend, 4 days out of the province for work, a movie to still promote and see. Not to mention 30 ODP pictures to take and post.
April was a crazy but really fun month!
I need a refill on things to blog about.
In addition to the energy and time, I have had very little motivation to share on my blog. Not sure why? I've had a lot to talk about with people in person, or text, or email. I miss sharing more here. Hopefully that motivation/inspiration will come back in spades....soon.
I need a refill on truth about my self-image.
I know I need a refill on grace for myself too....this one seems to be a constant work in progress and any fuel I get doesn't seem to absorb.
I need a refill on family.
Even though I have luckily been able to spend more time with some of my family lately, and more than usual is scheduled to come, it actually makes me miss them more. In particular my sisters, I really wish we had so much more time to just talk...not catch up on life but actually talk. I look forward to our weekend of driving to the states July long!
I need a refill on God.
I have a lot of God in my life, so much more than I did 2 years ago, WAY more than I did 4 years ago, but I have this insatiable thirst for more. I think it's similar to what I just said about family, the more I get the more I want! I thought I wanted what I have now 4 years ago....
My 'God time' has gone from about 3-4 hrs per week to at least 8 hrs per week.
The 'God people' in my daily life has gone from about 2-3 to now 10+, who I can go to at any time of the day, any day of the week, and be so real in my struggles and be supported, encouraged and inspired.
And the 'God people' in my life who surround me, whom I learn from and whom I get to pour into, that number went from about 6 to now 40+.
I think that exponential growth has just created this craving for more, and while I'm not empty, I long for more than I used to satisfy me.
Anyway, that's just a little bit about why my blog has been so empty lately. Sometimes I feel like I need to empty my life of somethings so there is room for a refill of all I need. That's another thing I've been pondering, trying to figure out.