The day you commit to sharing your life with the most amazing man you could ever have imagined.
Like any other bride you want the day you unite with your partner to be perfect, this is a celebration of your love and commitment after all! You are excited about all the little details, the dress, the flowers, the party, and of course the marriage you will be celebrating! And what is a celebration without a gift? Well, there will be many gifts of course, but you have in mind a very special gift you will be creating for your husband-to-be.
For the sake of commonality let’s say this gift you have for your groom is the wedding cake, because generally speaking guys like to eat and girls like to bake (I stereotyped men and women equally, have to be fair ; ) For months now you have been planning the perfect cake for your husband, the perfect recipe, the perfect flavour, the perfect size, the perfect icing, etc. You’ve researched just exactly everything you can to make this THE best cake ever, then you put a lot of hard work, time and effort, to create this masterpiece of a cake.
Once the cake was ready, just a few days before the wedding, the anticipation of giving your cake to your groom began eating you up inside. You began to question, did I pick a flavour he’ll like? Did you follow the recipe exactly, did it turn out all right? Did you decorate it beautifully enough? Did you over-decorate it? You began to doubt your cake making abilities and worry it will not meet his expectations. If only there was a way of knowing if he would like it or not before the grand presentation of this gift.
Finally you just HAVE to know and so you find someone willing to taste test your cake, figuring you can patch up the spot from the missing piece. The taste is to their liking much to your relief. But that relief doesn’t last long, that’s just one person’s opinion, what if it’s a fluke that they happened to like it. So you find another person to taste test the cake. Again, the cake receives a positive review. Then a few other people heard there was some cake taste testing going on so they ask for a little nibble, and you figure, what’s the harm, the more opinions the better because if someone does find something wrong then you can fix it before your groom tastes it.
Next thing you know your cake is looking like a newly paved sidewalk, with the finger prints of every passerby engraved in it. With deep regret you look at the mess of a cake you have before you and wonder whatever were you thinking allowing anyone else to touch it before it was given to your love. Even if you did patch it up so that he didn’t know, you would know, and just about any spot your groom would pick to slice his first piece of cake, you would remember the person who had been their first.
Every woman has the perfect wedding gift for her husband-to-be, but it’s ours to take care of from the time we are born. Our body is that gift. And if we let it get sampled before the wedding day, there is no ‘patching it up’ to make it untouched again. It’s more like finger prints in wet cement, those markings are permanent, and they can never be erased. Can you imagine if every time we allowed our body to be touched sexually that it would leave a permanent mark, like a tattoo? How hard do you think it would be to look in the mirror if your body was marked by the name of every man who touched you? How hard do you think it would be for your husband to look at you and see a visible reminder of the fact another man touched you? Luckily God is more lenient on us than that, and we don’t have to live with such a constant visible reminder of that, but He can see all those invisible marks. And you will know they are there. Or you can avoid having them all together. It’s your choice which cake you present to your groom.
Unfortunately, I made the wrong choice, and I gave my husband the latter cake. Sometimes you think you are allowing your future groom to taste test the cake but life isn’t predictable enough to make that presumption, that man may never become your husband. I can only thank God for not letting the ‘marks’ left on me destroy me or my marriage, because without Him I think they would have. Just like tattoo removal is painful, trying to eliminate the effects of these 'marks' was too, but working with God has allowed these marks to fade, so that my husband and I can see me as the beautiful gift I was meant to be.
3 comments:
wow, would you consider letting me add this to Kiandra's book?
YES! you are very welcome to use it. I know it isn't very applicable to my audience, but my hope is that people will share it with girls who can learn from it. so please do, I'd be honored.
Thank you so much for this post. It's inspirational to women who are untouched and redemptive to women who are marred.
Thank you for sharing.
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