Friday, July 5, 2013

Pray about Everything

"I might have made a lot of things different. But I’m not God and I don’t want to change rules just because they make me uncomfortable. I want to struggle within the limits of my understanding and my devotion."  ~ 

I might put it slightly different, like, "I don't want to struggle within limitations I've placed on God. I want to struggle within the limitations of my understanding and my devotion."

I asked God why I feel such conflicting sensations in my body.

I feel emptiness.
I feel stirrings.
I feel closing walls.
I feel opening doors.
I feel exhausted.
I feel deep wells filling.
I feel caught in a hurricane.
I feel stuck.
I feel paralyzed.
I feel healed.
I feel too full.
I feel hungry.
I feel lost.
I feel hope.

I'm struggling with the limitations of my understanding. I'm struggling with my (lack of ) devotion.

And so He told me to pray. Prayer is my priority. Set aside everything that hasn't been laid on my heart by Him and pray.

That's pretty scary. That means I have to EXAMINE. Examine EVERYTHING. And lay down what is my heart and take up what is God's heart.

I feel like I'm taking my first steps onto the water. Because Jesus called to me. And I want to go in deep. And I don't want to let my fear or lack of faith overcome me. And I don't know how not to.

Except for pray.

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