Purpose Driven Life

A life that has purpose is driven to succeed in that purpose. I believe we are designed to know there is a reason for our existence and know that fulfillment lies in accomplishing it. Some people seem to be continually searching for it, some seem to be born knowing. I am a searcher. Not that I've lived aimlessly, but I haven't felt very driven. There has never been this one major thing I've worked passionately to accomplish. I think my only consistent desire has been to love and be loved. That's not to say I have never been driven, but in time I became aware these purposes were not from God, and so they failed or fizzled, leaving me hungry for a real purpose.

Over the last year or so I have pleaded with God to reveal my purpose to me, so that I can be driven, so that I can do something with passion and love every minute of it, regardless if it is what I thought I wanted, anything as long as I know it is MY 'something' to accomplish. He has fed me bread crumbs, leading me to the right path, to the right Church, to the right friendships, to the right motives, and while knowing I was being led I was still frustrated with a lack of anything concrete, no definitive revelations. Obviously timing is key, I have to be in the right place, at the right time, in the right frame of mind, or I may flounder in my purpose, and even though that is something I have easily told other people, it's so much harder to convince yourself to be satisfied with that answer.

The importance of truth has been one of those bread crumbs, starting in late 2006, and becoming more of a fixation at the beginning of 2009, with my declaration that I will be a steward of truth. To be a steward of truth I realized I needed to know my Bible better, so I began to turn there for the answers to my questions. One of my burning questions was of course my purpose, so I looked to the purpose of being a child of God. The first thing that came to mind was 'They will know we are Christians by our love", which struck a chord with me because, as I said earlier, my desire has always been to love and be loved. So, I dove deep into the most famous love passage, 1 Corinthians 13, and what I had never seen before were the descriptions of the fruits of the spirit, another guide for what I should look like if I am filled with God's Spirit. Every fruit is unpackaged in 1 Cor 13, and so for me it showed me I couldn't have the fruits of the spirit without love, the real definition of love.

And so my realizations started coming full circle, the bread crumbs are becoming loaves as I begin to find assurance in the confirmation of what I've been learning over the last few years. I guess repetition is the best way we learn.
Love is not self-seeking and I need more self-control, well guess what, I had that in my 2009 "stewardship" list. I've never related love to my self-control issues with food and exercise. I've never related love to my stewardship of money and my desire to have such a pretty home. How can I love others as much as I need to with so much focus on my own life? And even my seemingly not-so-selfish desire to fulfill my purpose has been very much self-seeking because I wanted it for my own satisfaction instead of to be obedient, instead of trying to be a contributor in God's ultimate purpose.
Love does not envy, which is another struggle I've been having. Not envying certain people per say, but envy in general of what I do not have, like a 'magazine' worthy home, and children, for example. But to really love I have to be joyful. Hmmm, another point from my 'stewardship' list. And it has to be an honest and complete joy in the life that I have, no matter what that life consists of. Love trusts, and I'll only be able to have complete joy and a real love for God by trusting He is providing me with the best life for ME.
And speaking of joy and honesty, Love rejoices in the truth. Back full circle to truth, which tells me something. I know I've been discovering more about this one, as I've already blogged about, but it's becoming more and more clear I can't just know the truth, I have to share the truth. The tough part about truth is it might either offend people, scare people, or make them think I'm crazy versus letting them be deceived. Letting people be deceived for fear of my own reputation or relationships is obviously not loving, nor is it obedient, it is actually quite self-seeking. What's scarier is I feel sharing the truth might not just be the honesty, integrity or the light we are to shine that He asks of all of us, I am fairly sure that sharing the truth, at ALL costs, might be the purpose I've been asking for. If that's the case, I have a lot of work to do.

So, this is part of my major discovery I've been unwrapping for you for a few weeks, my eyes are being opened to the truth and it's varying aspects. I've never seen the importance of truth so clearly and so integral to my purpose, and I've also never seen it so urgently needed. God has planted many truths in my heart that I now have a passion to talk about, especially here on my blog. I'm excited and nervous but I just have to pray the Holy Spirit gives me the words and the boldness to bare witness to the truth.