Blue Christmas

I had never heard of a Blue Christmas before but the moment I discovered what that was, just a few weeks ago, it really resonated with me. I'll get to more about Blue Christmas in a moment. 
Typically Christmas is my favorite time of year, in addition to being grateful for the reason for the season, I can't get enough of friend & family gatherings, the lights, the carols, the pageants, the decorating, giving gifts & cards, the cheer, the joy, the food :)  I like my Christmas red, green, gold, silver, purple, pink even!
This year my spirit just isn't quite as celebratory, I just can't quite get into the festive parts.  There are absolutely no decorations up in my home, the only ones I've considered are candles and beautiful dead red branches from a bush we have in the yard.  I've been listening to the mellow carols, I have no gifts wrapped yet, and I have a general lack of enthusiasm for most things merry & bright. This is not the typical way I celebrate Christmas.
Then I found a phrase that perfectly described what I'm feeling.
"Blue Christmas services are not a traditional Christmas service, it is one that represents the winter of our souls instead." 
Winter.of.our.souls. 
That is definitely the season my spirit has been in for the last while.
And trying to contrive the cheer, the merry, the bright, the bell jingling, etc. just isn't sitting right.  I'm thankful our Church doesn't typically do the knee-high shepards and angels parade, but I know I won't be able to go into our Church without wading through swarms of children in their shiny, velvety, best. I just don't think I can take that this year.
As many people can't.  Those who are missing someone or something from their lives. Those who don't have a family to surround them.  Those that don't have healthy family gatherings.  Those that don't have anything to give or receive.
We want....I want...a 'silent night' and 'all is calm'.  The only glowing I want to see is candles. The only baby I want to think of is the one in the manger.
And this year, the one year I need this, I will have it. 
Our Church is holding a Blue Christmas service Dec. 21st. It's a night to focus on what everyone can celebrate, the birth of our saviour and the enduring hope he brings us.