I Don't Know

I don't know what's going on with me lately.

I don't know why I am extremely tired. Several naps a week is not me. Constantly being drowsy at work. I haven't had the energy to do much of anything but be on my couch anytime I'm at home.

I don't know why I want to quit. What I want to quit changes, but it seems like a common thought...I wish I could just quit....this. I don't really want to, but the thought pops up much too often to dismiss.

I don't know why I'm anxious. I've had on and off anxiety symptoms (my chest feels like it's closing in on my lungs) for almost 2 weeks now. With no particular reason to be named. I'm not worried about anything.

I don't know why all of a sudden I'm overwhelmed by my lists. Can't even look at them. All my organizational and motivational orientation has shut down. If I see something and have the inclination in that moment to deal with that something I do, if not I forget it.

I don't know why I've lost interest in just about anything that isn't relationship related. Give me an option that includes socializing and I'll have interest and energy galore, but otherwise, I want to veg, on the couch, with t.v. or a book. Nothing else even blips my radar.

I don't know why I can be full of life one moment and virtually paralyzed the next.

I don't know why I sense there is something big coming to change my life but have nothing concrete to base that on.

I don't know if that's why my body is hitting the pause button. To prepare. To rest up.

I don't know.

Wish I did.