Musical Monday

It has come in conversation several times in the last week about my eclectic taste in music, and while I have favorite genre's I probably have songs I really like in every genre.

There is pretty much 1 qualifier for music I like, it moves me; physically, or emotionally, or both.

When I listen to the radio in the car I will flip between about 9 regular stations in order to find a favorite, that allows for quite the interesting range of songs I will crank when they play.I get some looks for my choices, but the ears what the ears want :)

So, to prove my point, I figured I would document the songs I paused on while in the car this last week, not just the best song of 9 choices but the songs I just couldn't help but sing along to. A Lori 'mix tape' if you will.
(I linked youtube versions so you could hear if you are not familiar with....not condoning video content :)

Cruise - Florida Georgia Line ft.   Nelly
Pay Phone - Maroon 5
Black Bird - Sarah Mclachlan
Rag Doll - Aerosmith
Mirrors - Justin Timberlake
1994 - Jason Aldean
I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
Two Princes - Spin Doctors
Little Bit of Everything - Keith Urban
Roar - Katy Perry
Hurts So Good - John Cougar Mellencamp
I Will Wait - Mumford & Sons
Wake Me Up - Avicii
Boys 'Round Here - Blake Shelton ft. Pistol Annies
Life is a Highway - Tom Cochrane
Your Love is My Drug - Ke$ha
This Is What It Feels Like - Armin Van Buuren ft. Trevor Guthrie
Faith - George Michael
I Go Blind - Hootie & The Blowfish 
Trouble - Taylor Swift
Always - Bon Jovi
Some Nights - Fun

Good News Bad News

Good News.
I think the Chlomid worked a little bit.

I made peace that it wasn't resulting in a pregnancy this month.

My head and heart are ok.

Bad News.
The viability of my egg increased enough to get pregnant, not enough to stay pregnant.

The viability of my egg increased so much that this was the worst miscarriage I have ever had physically.

My body was not ok the last 4 days.

This is really sucky timing. Sean's birthday is today. 

Good News.
I am ok. We're ok.

We're still hopeful.

We're still trusting.

I am starting the count all over again this month.

Ready for the next higher dosage.

Heart on Fire

Heart on Fire.

This was the basis for my first bit of inspiration about my next tattoo, back in about 2008. My heart had been reignited, it was back on fire for God.

I wanted it on my 'sleeve', tattoo talk for arm, because I have always 'worn my heart on my sleeve'.

As I mentioned briefly in this post, it represents that I feel things deeply, what is imprinted on my heart burns with a deep passion, and I am on fire for those passions planted in my heart.

When I had my consultation I asked for a few things to create the impression I wanted to make, all colour, an ethereal fiery & smokey feel, and if possible, the flames to form an S & L for Sean and Lori.

I've seen my tattoos as a way to tell my testimony creatively and beautifully, an extension of my artist heart. I love when my initial tattoo inspiration grows and becomes so multi-dimensional in significance to me.  I was so excited for this tattoo, and my artist was too.

Then the waiting began.

And as I waited more of my story was unfolding.

God was growing my heart, my passions, the fire.

And my ability to feel deeply moved deeper to the very core of my being, my empathy and emotions grew in a way I knew I was created to feel.

Not only was the significance of my heart on fire tattoo deepening every day, it was being added to.

As I wrote in that same post, it became a reminder of who I want to be, who I think God is calling me to be.

As I wrote in this post, it even became to tied to my story of wanting to be a mother.

And then it was finally time. And when I first saw the art before it was on me, I was blown away. Once again, it was like my artist was inside my mind. This happened before with my butterfly tattoo, but it still shocked me that it could happen again.

I know it is a 'God is an artist' thing. God created my tattoo artist to be SO talented in this way, and whether she knows him or not, I know he had a hand in creating this tattoo for me.

The thing that blew me away the most was the watercolour effect she used. I had actually just been dreaming of a new tattoo that could incorporate that, and now I had one. 

Another cool thing was how a flame lick connected with the "L" flame lick to create a cross.

Almost 5 hours later, I was just about the end of my pain threshold, and my artist said, she could go as long as I could. That my skin seemed meant for tattooing. And that with this tattoo in particular, she could just keep going, she was enjoying the creative process so much, constantly inspired to add little details, it was so enjoyable for her. My pain had to stop her enjoyment :)

It wasn't until a week or so later I realized the biggest significance this tattoo now represents to me. And God knew it all along, because he knew my design that I had in mind would reflect a conversation I would have with him five years in the future. 

This conversation.

Where he showed me he created me like a painting, taking the paint brush and dipping it into his heart to get the colours to create me. And how he spoke over me, "Just like you can't stop fussing over your favorite creation, you just can't be done working with it because it's too wonderful a feeling, you never want to stop, that's how I feel about you."

Everything about this tattoo is the story of how and why God made me. 

Etched in my heart and on my sleeve forever.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends - Part 4

This is my dear friend Megan, one of my first friendships I recognized in the moment was orchestrated by God.

I love that God knit her into my heart almost from day one, reminding me of myself a few years ago on many levels.

I love her refreshing honesty and humility, and the way she combines it with humor to caption life.

I love her willingness to let God transform her, her desire to see His will prevail in her life. I love that she allows herself to be teachable, and that her heart is to please God.

I love her heart for the hurting, her empathy that seems to truly understand other people's pain. No matter what she is going through she will take the time for a friend.

I love that we share the same desire to honor our husbands, that we refuse to complain about them with each other, our marriages and our relationships with our husbands are sacred.

I love that we can talk for hours on end and it feels like we've shared only moments, we try to wrap up our conversations at a 'decent' hour and yet can't seem to tear ourselves away from the conversation and talk way later than intended.

I love that we share so many favorite things, like crafty hobbies, cooking healthy, going for walks, and geekiness like Big Bang Theory to name a few.

While I don't love that we suffer from some of the same problems, it is comforting to have a friend who understands and we don't have to suffer in silence, we know we're not alone and that has helped a lot.

I love that she has faithful prayed for my motherhood, I'm honored by how much she has interceded on our behalf.

I love her heart of hospitality, she is so generous and thoughtful, picks out great gifts, hosts great get-to-gethers, remembers special occasions, and all around enjoys making life special for those who are special to her.

I am so glad I can call this special lady one of my best friends and that she considers me a special friend as well. 

Love you Megan.