I'm usually the first person to see the glass half full, think positively, and all that jazz, even when wronged I forgive and forget very easily. But lately I just can't snap out of this negative nelly stage I've been in, and even as things have been getting better I still take a turn to the dark side at the slightest frustration. Yesterday I had my own Black Friday of sorts, despite more going right than it went wrong, I kept letting those little things get to me and the dark side won.
Today I've decided I desperately need to add some whitener to this blackness I've been brewing in, so for every struggle I've been wanting to complain about I'm going to instead list the victories I've been blessed with, however small they may seem today, even one little ray of light seems bright when it shines into darkness.
Struggle Victory
~a friendship ~several new friendships and friendships
that have grown closer
~work ~I received a lot of thanks & recognition
for my hard work this week, AND
most of the extra work is now DONE!
~entrepreneurship ~I've been able to have some great visits
crafting in very small groups
~hubby's struggles ~he initiated Church membership and
wants to take the spiritual gifts course
to learn where best to serve
~weight ~at least I've avoided the eggnog so far
~spend 'therapy' ~'free' Christmas gift for Sean and I, a
PS3 bought with airmiles!
~purpose ~if I quit busying myself looking for it
maybe I'll actually notice when it
appears
So good-bye Black Friday, I hope we don't see you again next year, or any year for that matter.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Top Ten Thursdays
I have a real sense of impatience these days, for EVERYTHING it seems! Waiting has never been my strong suit, but usually it's because I'm waiting for a trip, or a gift, or a gathering, all good stuff. These days I'm impatiently waiting to get beyond just surviving! Taking a break from goals couldn't have been timed better because I'm barely keeping up with life.
Therefore I'm impatient for:
1. Work to slow down! In addition to my usual duties, I've got to help prep for 2 external Health & Safety audits, 1 internal project management audit, and assist with part of a 2-person project that has turned into a 8-person project (we only have 12 in our office, only 2 in the appropriate dept.), and more! Being barely able to breathe has been a far too common theme in my life lately, as I mentioned in early fall I burdened myself too much with personal goals, then with similar/other issues got hit with another anxiety attack (the kind where I literally have trouble breathing), and now I can't catch my breath at work either. I'd like just one area in my life that gives significant reprieve.
2. Emotional healing so I can get on with my life! I put all goal-oriented activities on hold in early fall, as already mentioned, but I'm getting really antsy over all the things I want to but 'can't' do. It's obviously for the best, considering number 1, and considering the lack of breathing impairs energy too, I know it's for the best, but I feel my emotional healing is stunting my physical, spiritual and intellectual health. Long term, I'm not very good at being content with complacency and couch-potato-ness.
3. As usual, answers to the question(s) of motherhood, as this seems to be the initial domino to fall and bringing others down with it.
4. The end of the recovery group I facilitate once per week. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I feel like I'm meant to be there and that I'm getting so much out of it and am so blessed to see people healing, but I likely would waited until next session had I been asked just a month or two later. Not only because I'm already exhausted and didn't need one more commitment, but it's also emotionally draining hearing about the difficult emotional injuries my new friends have had to recover from. I love it but I'm looking forward to only 2 more weeks of it until the next session in spring, when hopefully I'll be much more emotionally able to handle it.
5. Kid therapy!! If there is one thing that can heal AND distract, it's my nieces and nephews. Winter is the time of year that holds sparsely sprinkled holidays that gather families and so seeing my precious little ones requires more effort, so I miss them even more this time of year. I miss them even more since I was able to spend a whole week with them all in August, and I got addicted to each one of them even more, if that was possible. I was looking through pictures of them the other day just to get a 'fix' and really need to make that effort to go see them before Christmas.
6. Puppy therapy!! Like pregnant bellies and babies seem to be everywhere when you want a baby, puppies are coming at me from all directions! Two people I know have fostered/adopted rescued puppies recently and it's making me very impatient to find that perfect puppy for us to rescue!
7. Vacation therapy. Considering I just had a vacation a month ago, this won't be happening until Christmas holidays, but I'm just about counting down the days!
8. A few gatherings that will provide some friend and family therapy before Christmas holidays :)
9. Since I haven't got ready access to my therapies, then distractions will have to do. I'm impatient for Voyage of the Dawn Treader, coming in December! Waiting for that one for ages it feels!!
10. Waiting for the one night of the week that I have 4 hour long shows and 2 half hour shows that actually make it easy to be a couch-potato for once.....oh wait that's tonight!! :)
Therefore I'm impatient for:
1. Work to slow down! In addition to my usual duties, I've got to help prep for 2 external Health & Safety audits, 1 internal project management audit, and assist with part of a 2-person project that has turned into a 8-person project (we only have 12 in our office, only 2 in the appropriate dept.), and more! Being barely able to breathe has been a far too common theme in my life lately, as I mentioned in early fall I burdened myself too much with personal goals, then with similar/other issues got hit with another anxiety attack (the kind where I literally have trouble breathing), and now I can't catch my breath at work either. I'd like just one area in my life that gives significant reprieve.
2. Emotional healing so I can get on with my life! I put all goal-oriented activities on hold in early fall, as already mentioned, but I'm getting really antsy over all the things I want to but 'can't' do. It's obviously for the best, considering number 1, and considering the lack of breathing impairs energy too, I know it's for the best, but I feel my emotional healing is stunting my physical, spiritual and intellectual health. Long term, I'm not very good at being content with complacency and couch-potato-ness.
3. As usual, answers to the question(s) of motherhood, as this seems to be the initial domino to fall and bringing others down with it.
4. The end of the recovery group I facilitate once per week. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I feel like I'm meant to be there and that I'm getting so much out of it and am so blessed to see people healing, but I likely would waited until next session had I been asked just a month or two later. Not only because I'm already exhausted and didn't need one more commitment, but it's also emotionally draining hearing about the difficult emotional injuries my new friends have had to recover from. I love it but I'm looking forward to only 2 more weeks of it until the next session in spring, when hopefully I'll be much more emotionally able to handle it.
5. Kid therapy!! If there is one thing that can heal AND distract, it's my nieces and nephews. Winter is the time of year that holds sparsely sprinkled holidays that gather families and so seeing my precious little ones requires more effort, so I miss them even more this time of year. I miss them even more since I was able to spend a whole week with them all in August, and I got addicted to each one of them even more, if that was possible. I was looking through pictures of them the other day just to get a 'fix' and really need to make that effort to go see them before Christmas.
6. Puppy therapy!! Like pregnant bellies and babies seem to be everywhere when you want a baby, puppies are coming at me from all directions! Two people I know have fostered/adopted rescued puppies recently and it's making me very impatient to find that perfect puppy for us to rescue!
7. Vacation therapy. Considering I just had a vacation a month ago, this won't be happening until Christmas holidays, but I'm just about counting down the days!
8. A few gatherings that will provide some friend and family therapy before Christmas holidays :)
9. Since I haven't got ready access to my therapies, then distractions will have to do. I'm impatient for Voyage of the Dawn Treader, coming in December! Waiting for that one for ages it feels!!
10. Waiting for the one night of the week that I have 4 hour long shows and 2 half hour shows that actually make it easy to be a couch-potato for once.....oh wait that's tonight!! :)
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Top Ten Thursdays
I'm trying to psyche myself up for winter, especially now that it's November, an official winter month in Winterpeg (no matter what the solstice says). I don't like being cold, layering clothes, heavy coats and boots and socks, sitting in cold vehicles waiting for both of us to warm-up, I could go on, but that would defeat the purpose of this post :) Here are my top ten reasons I actually do love winter (in doses :)
1. Gingerbread and Eggnog lattes from Starbucks, yum!
2. Whatever it is in the cold air that makes sunrises and sunsets more amazingly breathtaking than any other time of year.
3. Hoarfrost, self explanatory
4. My new crocheted toque, handmade by my talented sister Tami, who is selling them by the way, hint hint ;) This isn't mine, this is hers, but it will be like this, only brown.
6. Hopefully getting in a photoshoot in some freshly fallen snow, underneath some picturesque crystallized snow, painted on some overhanging branches.
7. Making pretty Christmas cards and hanging pretty Christmas decorations
8. Christmas carols, fa lalala la
9. My office practically shuts down for a week over the holidays, another reason I love my job.
10. Christmas gatherings with familyOk, so apparently Christmas is one of the only reasons I can get through our long winters, but it is my fav holiday for a reason!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Top Ten Thursdays
So I'm doing fairly well on my break, most urges to do stuff I quell successfully :) A few exceptions for some important things, but I'm happy to report a top ten list of things I am doing that are NOT goal oriented :)
1. A week long stay-cation that accomplished just about nothing.
5. Lots of time with friends during the whirlwind engagement/marriage of a friend....in last 2 months went to her social, shower, stagette, wedding, and then one last girl's night out with the gang while an out of town friend was still around from the festivities. Fun, fun, fun!!
1. A week long stay-cation that accomplished just about nothing.
2. Christmas shopping, gotta LOVE an excuse to go shopping!
3. Playing with mindless (but fun!) applications on my new iPhone.
4. Babysitting my teeniest nephew, yay!
6. A FABULOUS fall foto-shoot with a great photographer! Who can complain about a beautiful autumn day saunter, cuddlin' and smoochin' all the way and then some awesome pics to show for it!
7. Taking majestic sky photos that are just so awe-inspiring, I can't help myself, especially since my phone can take the pics and upload them to share every where I go!
8. Reading blogs, and resisting temptation to write them (until yesterday that was :)
9. Starting to plan a vacation to Las Vegas next year!
10. Creating the perfect butt groove on my couch ;)
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