I think I can, I think I can

Finally, I feel like I’m getting somewhere with my list, hopefully the momentum will keep a fire under my butt
 : ) 89 out of 110 are stroked off or are in the works, whoohoo! And I still have 597 days left! Check out my updated entry.

There but for the grace of God go I

It has occurred to me today that I haven't had anything too profound to say lately....gone are the days of my rants? I still get quite angered by people, manipulative people, selfish people, lately it's been these people in particular, but I just can't seem to summon the same kind of steam in order to verbally tear them apart anymore.

I have our associate Pastors, and of course God : ) to thank for that. The last few weeks of messages have really stuck with me and sunk deep in my heart, specifically the idea that sin is a symptom of the absence of God. Not a complete absence always, sometimes just a slight lapse in His presence, but choosing to sin gets easier the more disconnected from God we are. So I see people who think, act and speak things that are awful and easy to hate, but God is quick to remind me it is only because they are disconnected from Him (even though some may falsely believe they are doing God's will), and that I too have the potential to be just as bad or worse if I allow a disconnection from God in my own life. That truth has truly changed me.

I'm still just as disturbed by the evil people are capable of and I am still just as opinionated about it, but I realize now I have no right to place blame on or judge any other person other than myself. I will leave it to God to judge people's hearts, but I will place blame somewhere, like on Satan. When we blame and judge other people we are diminishing the role Satan plays in their choices, as well as our own. That may not seem important, and may even seem ridiculous to some, blaming Satan for people’s actions, but it’s when we deny he has any power over us that he can be most effective. And sometimes his goal isn’t to get us to be terrible sinners, it’s to get us to be ineffective Christians. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think judging people’s sins makes me a very effective Christian.

Living Well Wednesdays - Must be doing something right!

So, busyness got the best of me again and I wasn't very intentional about my health last week.

I started off not too bad with food, but then we had date night on Friday which always means my calories are usually a little higher that day (on the max side of my allowance), which isn't too bad when it's the only night of the week like that. Sounds like there is a 'but' in there, doesn't it? That's because there is. The rest of the week I managed to keep my calories within my range, but I was filling up on garbage.
Saturday, well Saturday was very bad. I went to a Habitat for Humanity build with my co-workers and I didn't have breakfast at home because they were serving one, but my bus didn't show up at the stop and so I had to wait for the next one, got there late, had to eat whatever was left and eat it fast. So breakfast was an apple and cookies. Then we had a family reunion on Sean's side at Assinaboine park at noon, and we didn't know it was a bring your own food event. We were invited to partake in someone else's food, because I was starving (for various reasons we were pretty late, only got there around 1:15), but I didn't want to pig out on their food and only ate a little. Considering my real lack of calories so far that day I DID splurge and eat a small piece of birthday cake. Well, by the time we left there and got some errands done, it was late and I was even hungrier. We stopped at Starbucks like usual and part of our 'date night' ritual, no matter the date, is to end it with dessert at Starbucks (which we didn't do Friday), so I had a SECOND piece of cake on Saturday! I know, very bad, but I was starving, and it was our date...excuses, excuses, I know.
You'd think after that I would have behaved, but that just got the ball rolling, I've been drinking the left over pop in our fridge and eating left over cookies I baked for our movers every day! But like I said, I didn't go over my calories, I just used up my calories on crap.
However, I must have been doing something right, because this morning (I've made Live Well Wednesdays my new weigh in day) I had lost 2 lbs since I last weighed the Monday before we moved!!! I know I've been very active in the last few weeks, first moving and then spending a lot of time unpacking, moving stuff around, going up and down our stairs a lot because I haven't really got the hang of what's upstairs and what's downstairs yet. Then there was the HH build, and using our exercise equipment at home, in ADDITION to my normal gym days. But I was dreading the weigh in this morning and so I was ecstatic!
I wonder why it is I can feel like I'm doing everything right and gain weight, and then feel like I've been severely slacking and lose weight. God's mercy, that's how!

Living Well Wednesdays

Ok, so since last Wednesday 6 out of 7 of my days have been spent packing, moving, cleaning, moving some more, unpacking, moving furniture around, and walking around stores looking for things we need. Unfortunately, no dishes and not much food also meant eating out a lot. Pizza is the typical moving food, for us and our wonderful movers, and with lots of leftover pizza it was a cost effective way to eat, but boy does pizza have a LOT of calories. And we have too much pop leftover too. I tried to still stay moderate in my proportions and still drink lots of water, and considering how much I've been moving everyday I think it might have balanced out. I have not been brave enough to step on a scale yet but my clothes all still seem to fit the same as they did last week.
The two things I wanted to impliment in my Living Well was drinking more water, which I have been doing fairly well at. It slowed down a little over the weekend, but for the most part I am drinking about 2.5-3 litres per day. Pretty good I think. The other thing was spend more time with God and rely on Him to provide what I need when I think I'm hungry, or think I don't have the energy to exercise. That is one thing that I haven't made the time for in the last week, but I hope to make that a priority now that we are pretty much settled in our new house.
One other thing that is new in my life, that will definately improve my activeness, is two pieces of exercise equipment we inherited with buying the house. One is a weight system, which offers about 1/3 of the types of weight lifting I normally do at the gym, and the other is a bike machine, so I can increase my cardio workout at home (the elliptical hasn't helped much since I've upped my 'game' at the gym). So now my two hours at the gym can be less weights and more running, which I have to do on a treadmill, so I can't do that anywhere else but the gym. My time working out each week will increase a lot I think, it's so easy to just get in a few reps on the weights whenever I have some free time, and any time I want to read I can just sit on the bike (which has a book holder, whoohoo!). And once we put a t.v. downstairs, well just try and keep me off the equipment. Sean and I may end up fighting over time on them : )

Living Well Wednesdays - to be continued next week

I didn't go crazy

So I got my hair cut and colored on the weekend and I didn't go wild after all. First I wanted to find something that suits me and would be easy to maintain, that would be a style I would want to keep. I might try throwing in some pink streaks in the near future but for now, this is what I went with.

I really like it (although my curls deflated a little by the time I took this pic). It's really easy to do curly or straight. It's a good length, not too long that's it tangles or gets in my way, and not too short I HAVE to do something with it, and can still wear it in a pony tail. And I love the color! I picked something close to my natural color but a little more golden/reddish. I think it suits my skin tone really well. I'm very happy, as usual, with my hair dresser, it's no wonder I've been going back for four years.

Some Friday Fill-in Fun

1. You know you're old when your hip is having the same issues as your mom's.
2.My heart is divided between a hair style that suits me and a hair style that's a little more wild!
3. Something filling but low calories is what I need RIGHT NOW!
4. I have felt the shackles of shame, I have known the depths of freedom in love.
5. Gah, won't these people stop and take an honest look inward and upward.
6. Get to the heart of what makes you you, as soon as you can!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to my walk with Pam, tomorrow my plans include a new hairstyle and Sunday, I want to get a lot packed!

Living Well Wednesdays

I meant to post this last night but got carried away with other stuff, but better late then never : )Last week my birthday wish didn't come true, I didn't lose more weight, even though I pushed myself even harder to lower my calorie intake, choose better food, and I exercised at least 130 minutes longer than I normally do each week. I even behaved at my birthday dinner, which was actually easy because we ate at Inferno's Bistro. Their portions are not huge like most restaurants, they were just enough, and there was more vegetable on my plate than carbs and meat, which is how it's supposed to be (not usually when I cook though, lol). Not to mention we walked to and from the restaurant, which was about 25 minutes of walking. So I'm perplexed at why I actually ended up gaining back 2 lbs! I am trying to remind myself it's not all about the weight, I'm doing this for my insides but I really hoped my new resolve would give me some visual results. I was really looking for some encouragment from the LWW blogs this week but you can't always get what you want. But you just might find you get what you need, and that is what I got instead.
After reading the other LWW blogs and their many mentions/reminders to drink water, I realized I've been really slacking in my water drinking recently. It's been down to maybe 1-2 cups of water per day lately, and I have actually been getting headaches due to the lack of water, which I finally caught on to a few days ago. But I didn't tie that to my weight until yesterday while reading the blogs. I forget drinking water helps in so many other ways, other than just helping me feel full during the day. It helps remove toxins and waste from the body, helps digestion, improves energy, improves metabolism....all of which have an impact on your weight. Duh!
And another one of my challenges was a hot topic in the blogs this week. That is relying on God in my moments of weakness. I had new resolve and so I was making this about my success and not about God's success in my life. I was putting too much faith in myself and gaining weight this week was a good reminder that even when I think I'm at my best I will fail. Everything good comes from God. Therefore, I will not achieve anything good apart from God (unless God decides to grace me with success for His own reasons). Another duh! moment.
This is head knowledge, so why is it not heart knowledge? Why do I insist on pushing this huge boulder, uphill, on my own, knowing the ultimate strength is just waiting for me to ask Him to do it for me? Because I fool myself into thinking I HAVE been relying on Him, just because I give Him credit for the lessons I've learned. But it's because of His grace that I've even been given that wisdom, I haven't exactly been doing a good job of pursuing His intervention in my health. He's been pursuing me, trying to reach out to me, showing me how much I need Him, yet I still can't seem to turn my health over to Him completely. Even after I've seen results in other areas of my life where I have surrendered to Him.
I feel a little dense, having to learn this same lesson over and over again. I need to do this with God, not for God. I too often think they are one in the same, concentrating too much on the end results that God desires (in this case, living respectfully of His creation - my body), rather than how He wants those results achieved. Which of course is allowing Him to work in my life, not trying to make it on my own effort (with or without His 'assistance'). It's like an analogy our pastor used last weekend; Christians often view life like we're in a car, travelling the roads of life, and even though we are inexperienced, don't know the terrain or the destination, don't know all the mechanics of our vehicle, we insist on being the driver and God (you know, the creator of the car, and the road, and the destination, etc.) gets to be the passenger. We think being a good Christian is asking Him for the occasional direction, or even constantly asking for directions. Sometimes we don't even ask, and it's only once He's practically shouting that we get a clue, which is what I've been doing with my health. What I need to remember is that it is so much easier, and less trecherous, to just let Him drive. I don't know how many reminders I need before it finally sinks in, but I'm grateful He keeps trying to get through to me.

Big oops!

I keep forgetting, not everyone is on facebook, so some of you have may have missed out on the news that I am an Aunty again as of July 24th. My sister Jodi and BIL John had an adorable little boy, Landon Kade, who was born just about 4 weeks early. At first he was in the NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) at St. Boniface hospital, and he was on oxygen, IV's and monitors. After one day he was off the oxygen and any breathing assistance. A few days later he was off the IV. A few days ago he was off the monitors and today he got to come home, much to the joy of his aunts and uncles, since only Jodi & John and the grandparents were able to hold him in the hospital. I think we all got our turn to hold him today. Here are some pictures of the first boy in our immediate Braun family!

This is Landon the day after he was born. Jodi had to take my camera in because I couldn't even see him through glass.

This is Jodi with Landon his third day in the world shortly after the IV was removed.

This is my first time holding Landon, 9 days after he was born, the day he got to go home! I also got to feed and burp him! The noise his sisters made didn't even phase him for the most part.

And Sean, getting in some practice : ) He wanted to find a lion for Landon, just like he had for the girls (lions are his favorite animal) and he eventually found one, that is just as big as Landon! (not pictured, unfortunately, my camera died after this)

We are very happy and thankful Landon is healthy and home! Jodi actually screamed in the nurses ear when she got the news : ) I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to give birth to your baby and then have to leave him at the hospital. We are just very grateful of how God has taken care of him though. We look forward to much debating over who gets to hold him every gathering now!